I will never forget the day I arrived early at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen for the confirmation of my dear friend’s only son, David, in May of 2018. I had been thrown for a loop when his mother, with the full support of his father, honored me by inviting me to stand with him as his sponsor.
David was a shy kid who barely mumbled hello to me when I visited their Annapolis home with my husband right after Christmas holidays and occasionally during warmer months.
Was this OK with David?
His mother and I had a great working relationship and an even stronger friendship after I retired in 2011. But I wondered how this could work with me living quite a distance from him.
In the end, his mom convinced me of the care and prayer that had gone into my selection. David was 15 then – much older than 9, the age children now may be confirmed in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. I said yes, believing my role would be to stay in prayer for David’s growth in Christ.
On David’s big day, he greeted me warmly. He had become laid back and even easygoing. I could relax! His family, my husband Andre and I took photos outside the cathedral afterward. From there we retreated to our home where I had prepared a feast to celebrate the occasion.
I also presented David with a leather-bound Catholic Bible. I prayed it would be his armor in times of trouble and restlessness when reaching out to God would be his only consolation. At the same time, I urged him to seek help in understanding the richness of God’s love letters to us, for that is what all Scripture is.
Years passed quickly. The next time I saw David, he had finished both high school and a university where he had lived on campus.
Situations such as ours are far too common. Being asked to be a child’s godparent for baptism or sponsor for confirmation continues to be viewed by many well-meaning people as an honorary title or symbolic gesture.
But that is not how the church views it and it wasn’t what David’s parents had in mind. Those of us who are sponsors are meant to be spiritual mentors and guides – not just for a day but for life.
As I grew in the knowledge and understanding of my own duties as a sponsor, I took deliberate steps to close the gap between that spring day in 2018 and the present. I wrote to David, congratulated him on his graduation, then scheduled a visit. Predictably, his mom offered her own feast as we retreated to their backyard fire pit and caught up on each other’s lives.
I was relieved to discover that David does indeed love the Lord and desires to be attuned to hearing his voice. Even so, it is critical that all of us sponsors and godparents who have pledged to be spiritual mentors and guides lose no opportunity henceforth to deepen connections.
As Pope Benedict XVI once said in a homily, we must always be encouraging and supportive, so that “the divine life which God gives them is kept safe from the poison of sin.”
Time lost is time lost, but the beauty of the present is that we always have a chance to nurture a relationship, even an unintentionally long-neglected one, so as not to miss out on the tremendous opportunity to strengthen both our spiritual and intergenerational bonds.
My mantra in prayer daily is that God will continue to bless my godson David, his mother Therese, his father Eric, his sister Catherine and everyone whose lives are wonderfully intertwined with my own.
read more commentary
Copyright © 2025 Catholic Review Media
