Catholic Review A different kind of Epiphany

When the day started, I thought I might write a post about the Epiphany.

I thought I would tell you how our Christmas tree is still up and our lights are still hanging outside — how the front of the house looks so beautiful this year.

I thought you might like to know that instead of making a king cake or writing with chalk over the door, I bought three king-sized Kit Kat bars for the three kings in my family, and they vanished.

I thought I might describe how my husband has added multicolored Christmas lights to our back deck and to our basement, and we’re planning to leave them up year-round. I was going to tell you how much I love the colors and the lights, how I hope one day we’ll smile and say, “We added those during the pandemic.”

It would have been a fairly simple little blog to read — all about light and color and ongoing Christmas joy.

Then this afternoon a colleague messaged me and said, “Did you see what’s happening at the Capitol?”

And the day took a sharp turn.

Sometimes you think there’s nothing left to surprise you.

Then you watch as yelling, flag-waving people invade a seat of government, a revered building, a home to important lawmaking — a place that is both symbolic and practical in its purpose. You learn that the president of the United States incited them. You stand, mouth agape, astonished at how no one stops them as they break windows and climb walls and make their way into the Capitol.

This was not an Epiphany I ever imagined.

Police officers are seen in the U.S. Capitol in Washington Jan. 7, 2021, during a joint session of Congress after they reconvened to certify the Electoral College votes of the 2020 presidential election. (CNS photo/Jonathan Ernst, Reuters)

I turned on the TV, and I watched the events unfold with my sons. They had so many questions. Some I could answer. Many I could not. We paused to pray, and then we turned back to the screen. It was painful and appalling to see, and yet we couldn’t look away.

It had to end…and yet it went on and on and on.

I understand, but I don’t. Or maybe it’s that I cannot accept — not hatred and violence and racism. I can’t accept cavalier disrespect directed toward our democracy. I feel angry, sad, and betrayed. The world feels upside-down.

As an American, I find myself realizing how much I’ve taken for granted in the past — a peaceful transition of power between presidents; law enforcement stepping in to address destructive, violent people; a president who wants to protect the government he serves. Clearly, though, I cannot take any of that for granted. Especially not today.

It was a different kind of Epiphany.