Did you ever notice how quickly we sometimes pray the Our Father? So quickly, in fact, that we may even fail to consider what we’re asking of Our Heavenly Father. Take, for example, the words, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us.” We may be eager to be forgiven but less eager to forgive others.
And that shouldn’t surprise us. We live in a culture that’s often angry and unforgiving. The cynicism and lack of compassion so characteristic of our times are painfully evident. As the late Cardinal Francis George aptly observed, contemporary culture “permits everything and forgives nothing.” And it’s all too easy for us to be swept up into this culture of finger-pointing, defamation, calumny and retaliation. What’s more, harsh attitudes and rhetoric are often not reserved only for public figures; unforgiving attitudes and words can easily spill over into one’s personal and professional relationships.
It also doesn’t take a scientific survey for us to see that today’s angry and unforgiving culture isn’t making people happy. Quite the contrary. Perhaps as never before people suffer from anxiety, loneliness and isolation. Each of us is one tweet away from public denunciation and loss of reputation.
When we pray, “Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” we are asking (among other things) to be delivered from this culture of comeuppance. Here we are not necessarily asking God to protect us from it. What we are really asking is for the grace not to engage in it ourselves. And more than that, we are asking for the grace to forgive those who have harmed us whether in public or in private, whether by malicious and false speech or by treachery and betrayal – or one of the other forms of inhumane behavior.
In making that request of Our Heavenly Father, we are on good ground. Did not Jesus say to us, “…love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you” (Mt 5:44)? St. Paul echoes the Lord’s words, “If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if your enemy is thirsty, give him something to drink … ” (Rom 12:20). Jesus also taught us that “For as you judge, so will you be judged, and the measure with which you measure will be measured out to you” (Mt 7:2). Jesus also tells us to forgive limitlessly and repeatedly. Indeed, forgiveness is a big part of loving our neighbors as ourselves. If we wish to prepare our hearts to receive God’s mercy for the sins we have committed, then we must strive to forgive those who have sinned against us.
Who of us doesn’t find this teaching difficult? It’s hard enough to forgive someone who has taken our money and possessions. But it’s even harder, I think, to forgive those who have betrayed our friendship, acted unethically in a professional relationship, besmirched our reputation, spread lies and half-truths about us – in a word, those who have sought to reach into the interior of our lives to do us harm. Yes, the Lord is asking us to forgive those who have done such things to us, even as we seek his forgiveness for the wrong we have done to him.
Perhaps, however, those “who trespass against us” are in fact doing us a favor. They are giving us a clue of how our sinfulness offends God. It’s not that we take anything away from Him. Rather, in sinning, especially when we sin seriously, we are spurning and betraying his friendship and giving others scandal, that is, excuses for also betraying the Lord’s friendship. Sin is a wound in the heart of an all-loving God. This should bring home to us the enormity and preciousness of God’s gift of mercy. But unless we forgive those who have offended us, we are in grave danger of taking God’s forgiveness for granted.
As Lent gives way to Holy Week and Easter, let us take inventory. Whom do we need to forgive? And where will we find the capacity to forgive except in the One who loves us and laid down his life to save us from our sins?
