When our children were little, going to Sunday Mass was a marathon and a sprint. Between the wriggling and the whispering and the louder disruptions, many Masses would find one of us carrying a child out of the main part of the church. We would calm down and refocus. Then we would come back in and try again.
Taking young children to Mass is so wonderful as they begin to discover God and their role in a faith community. But it can also be challenging. For a few years, my husband and I tried a “divide and conquer” approach. We would each take one of our children and sit separately. That was surprisingly effective, and our sons always remembered whose turn it was to be with which parent.
You do what you have to do.
A few times over the years, I wrote about the challenges and the blessings that come with bringing little ones to Mass. And once, about a decade ago, I received an email from a Catholic Review reader. She encouraged me to keep bringing my children to church. And she advised me to sit right up front where our boys would be able to see everything.
I appreciated her thoughtful note—and the excellent, concrete tip. I love that she took the time to write. After all, we are all in this together, all trying to support one another as we try to raise the next generation of our Church.
I hadn’t thought of that email for a while until I met its author, Lisa Gough, a few months ago in person. She reminded me of her note and asked about our sons. Then she shared that her son, Justin, had become a priest. I was delighted to realize that I know Fr. Justin Gough, and that he has baptized and given First Communion to some of my nieces and nephews. Going to Mass and sitting in the front row must have helped.
Meeting Lisa and connecting with her in person left me feeling so full of hope. Our conversation reminded me that we never know how the seeds we plant will take root. Like the farmer scattering seeds in the fields, we don’t know which seeds will grow into thriving plants and which won’t take root or grow and be scorched in the sun.
Still, with hope and faith and deep trust in God, we keep planting. We bring our children to Mass. We slide into the front row in hopes it will bring our children closer to God. We pray for them every day. We ask God to help us be everything they need us to be. And they do find their way. Today, Lisa’s son, who must have squirmed through many Masses as an active little boy himself, is a priest.
What a beautiful reminder to keep pouring ourselves into our children and trust that God will fill in the gaps and make all things good.
That’s on my mind this fall as my husband and I send our first child to college. A decade ago, we were deep in the trenches of active parenthood. Now we have to step back and let him write the next chapter in his story on his own. Of course, it was never our story to write. It was his and God’s. So, we will take a step back, always ready to be called up to assist as needed, but also recognizing that this is a new era in parenting and in faith.
“Hold your eyes on God, leave the doing to him. That is all the doing you have to worry about,” said St. Jane Frances de Chantal.
And so here we go, taking a step back when what I might prefer is a front-row seat. But what a comfort to know that God is with us through all of it.
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