Sometimes we invite a new saint into our lives, but sometimes they choose us. That’s what happened with my friendship with St. Francis of Assisi.
In early July 2003, we had to put our family dog to sleep, and that led to other changes that left me feeling sad and a little empty. I realized that I needed to step back and reset, and I decided to look for a place I could make a personal weekend retreat.
The Internet and a few phone calls led me to a Franciscan monastery in Wilmington, Delaware. As I drove up to the large stone structure, a man in overalls with white hair and a beard came out to greet me with open arms. Fr. Thomas Pietrantonio—Father Tom—was a Capuchin priest, and he was one of the most welcoming people I ever met. He was genuinely overjoyed to see me, a stranger who had just arrived from Baltimore.
The weekend unfolded in the most beautiful way. Father Tom never asked me why I had come, and I never told him. I didn’t need to. I took walks alone and talked to God. I sat with Father Tom on the porch, sometimes chatting, sometimes silent. I went to daily Mass in the chapel. I read in my room. And I found the most extraordinary peace.
At some point, I realized that—without thinking about it—I had been led to a home of Franciscan spirituality while grieving the loss of our dog. Suddenly it made sense that I was making a retreat in this place I just happened to discover. The weekend unfolded like a beautiful, unexpected gift, as I encountered St. Francis in a new, much more personal way.
During the Mass on my last morning there, we sang, “How Great Thou Art.” I sang as my eyes filled with tears—tears of grief and gratitude, but also of hope. Because God had led me there, and I knew He would be with me regardless of what was ahead. And I realized that I had made some new friends—Father Tom, of course, but also St. Francis.
A few weeks later, I met the man who would become my husband. Right away, I knew we had something special. And early on, he told me his birthday was Oct. 4, which also happens to be the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi.
I don’t believe that’s a coincidence.
Today, we will bless our pet finches with holy water, and we will celebrate John’s birthday. But I’ll also be thinking of my two favorite Franciscans, St. Francis and Father Tom.
Lord, make me an instrument of thy peace.
Where there is hatred, let me sow love,
Where there is injury, pardon;
Where there is doubt, faith;
Where there is despair, hope;
Where there is darkness, light;
And where there is sadness, joy.
O Divine Master, grant that I may not so much seek
to be consoled as to console,
to be understood as to understand,
to be loved, as to love.
For it is in giving that we receive,
It is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
and it is in dying that we are born to eternal life.
― Prayer of St. Francis
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