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A special family Mass, finches taking flight, and pretzel presents (7 Quick Takes)

~1. Remembering Eric~

Three years ago today my brother-in-law Eric died. Eric was an extraordinary person. He was brilliant and loving and talented. He was the most amazing conversationalist and seemed to know something about everything—and really knew a great deal about many topics. He saw the value and dignity to everyone he met—whether strangers or family members—and he loved his wife and children so deeply. And he had this amazing sense of humor.

For the past two anniversaries of Eric’s death, I have taken the day off to drive to New York to spend time with my sister Maureen and her children. It’s a difficult day, but we have found a little rhythm to the day with chatting and coffee and a visit to the cemetery and dinner out.

This year, thanks to Covid, the trip wasn’t possible. I’ve been really disappointed to think of missing this day with Maureen and my nieces and nephews. This week, I reached out to my friend, Fr. Tim Brown, S.J., to ask whether he could celebrate a Mass for Eric today. Fr. Brown said yes immediately and asked whether we would like to join him for Mass. It hadn’t even occurred to me that that would be an option.

John, our sons, and I hadn’t been to Mass since mid-March. But I talked to John, and we felt it would be safe—it would just be the five of us in a large chapel—and a good way to mark the day. Then it occurred to me maybe Maureen would like to join us from New York via Zoom. I brought my laptop and Maureen was able to participate from afar.

What I really wanted, of course, was to hug Maureen and hang out with her children—even if I had to spend nine hours on the road to make it happen. But the Mass was beautiful and so very special and personal. John and our sons did the readings, we received the Eucharist for the first time in seven months, and Father Brown made it so meaningful and comforting.

You can read more about Eric in “Lesson in Love,” “Joy and sorrow, remembering a much-loved brother-in-law,” and “A season of loss and love.”

~2. A seasonal cake ~

As a very small thank you for the enormously thoughtful gift of the Mass, I made Fr. Brown a Jewish apple cake. When I went to look for the recipe, I realized that I had last baked the cake way back near the start of the pandemic.

It’s amazing to think that when I made the cake in March, I thought this situation was just a temporary arrangement. And, I know it still is and that I need to take the long view on this. But the situation is not as temporary as we might have thought in March.

But you know what we can count on? Apple season. And, if you’re looking for a good apple cake recipe, you might want to try this one.

~3. High-flying finches~

We had been wondering when our baby birds would start flying. It seems appropriate that after our sons blessed them with holy water and a prayer on the Feast of St. Francis of Assisi last Sunday, one of the babies left the nest and flew a little around the cage.

The other baby started flying on Tuesday, and since then they have been out of the nest during the day more than they have been in it.

~4. Serving up birthday gifts~

Other babies who are growing way too quickly are my twin nephews, who turned 3 this week. I had been trying to think of a good gift to give them—especially since my sister Treasa didn’t want more toys, and they have a strong book collection.

Then I remembered that when our boys were little, my mother-in-law would ask what she could get our boys, and I would tell her socks and paper plates. We never seemed to have enough socks, and they loved fun paper plates. My mother-in-law would pick them up from the dollar store and bring them when she came for a visit.

So, I ordered some animal-themed paper plates. My sons (now 10 and 12) thought it wasn’t much of a gift, but the birthday boys seemed perfectly happy.

~5. Pretzel presents~

We celebrated John’s birthday last weekend, and he didn’t want any gifts that would take up space in our house either. So, I ordered some of the German food that seems to be available at Aldi’s every fall, including their mustards, and some soft pretzel mix I found online. The boys and I made pretzels, and our seventh grader made one that spelled out “John” in cursive.

The only non-edible items we gave him were Halloween window clings, a “World’s Best Boss” mug, and a blender, so we could make smoothies.

~6. Mandatory recess~

It only took me one month of remote learning to realize I needed to institute mid-day recess.

The boys have a half-hour overlap during lunchtime, and I send them outside to play for at least 15 minutes.

I think it makes a real difference for the afternoon of learning—especially because there is so much screen time.

Now if I would just join them, imagine how much more productive I would be.

~7. Learning the ropes~

Overall, we are doing OK with remote learning. The teachers are doing an incredible job.

And I know our children are learning something because I hear our fifth grader teaching his teachers some of the technology tricks he’s learned in the past few weeks.

It makes me smile every time.

Read more quick takes on Kelly’s blog, This Ain’t the Lyceum, and have a wonderful weekend!

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