Deacon Anthony ‘Tony’ Grillo, longtime Our Lady of the Fields deacon, dies at 90

Deacon Anthony ‘Tony’ Grillo, a beloved presence at Our Lady of the Fields Parish in Millersville for more than four decades, died Nov. 1. He was 90.

Ordained in 1974 at Our Lady of the Fields, Deacon Grillo was part of one of the Archdiocese of Baltimore’s first diaconate classes after the Second Vatican Council. He devoted much of his ministry to the parish he called home, serving generations of families through baptisms, pastoral counseling, sacramental preparation and spiritual guidance.

Those who served alongside him remembered a deacon whose influence extended far beyond the altar. Whether mentoring future deacons, counseling parishioners through personal struggles or simply listening to someone in need, Deacon Grillo was known for his generosity with both his time and his spirit.

Deacon Keith Chase, who grew up in the parish, had known Deacon Grillo since 1981 when he was in high school. Deacon Chase said he and Deacon Grillo had similar paths, both being called to serve at a young age with young children at home.

“When I felt called to be a deacon, he was a great mentor to me,” Deacon Chase said. “Tony was instrumental in my formation.”

Born in Brooklyn, N.Y, Deacon Grillo served in the United States Navy during the Cuban Missile Crisis. Professionally, he was an aerospace engineer and worked on several different missions for NASA.

Preparing for life after retirement, he earned a master’s degree in pastoral counseling from what is now Loyola University Maryland in 1996 and became a trusted resource for individuals and families facing difficult circumstances.

Deacon Grillo continued helping people long after he faced mandatory retirement at age 75, according to Deacon Chase.

“That was a great gift to the parish,” he said. “He stayed to counsel people at no cost.”

While he served in many capacities throughout his diaconate, friends and family agreed there was one ministry that held a special place in his heart: baptizing babies.

“Even after he retired, Tony stayed around to help the parish – that was the generosity of his spirit,” said Deacon Mark Loepker, who also credits Deacon Grillo as a mentor. “He was always looking to help out with baptisms. “

His daughters, Jeanne Grillo and Ann Grillo, both said Deacon Grillo always put an emphasis on the importance of education. He took up French in his 50s because of an assignment that led him to French Guiana.

While he was in Africa on a satellite mission, he was inspired him to climb Mount Kilimanjaro, Africa’s highest peak..

“He was pretty low-key,” Jeanne Grillo said. “He did things for himself, not for the glory. He was a great dad.”

Ann Grillo described him as a devoted father who stayed involved in family life and remained close to his four children (Jeanne, Ann, Monica Grillo and John Grillo), and his nine grandchildren. He also was able to live to see the recent birth of his great-granddaughter, which Ann said was one of his goals.

According to his family, he rarely missed a cross country meet, ice skating competition, soccer game, ballet recital, swim meet or musical performance.

In 2019, his wife of more than 60 years, Mary Jean, died following an automobile accident.

“Even in the tragic loss of Mary, he was so grateful that we were there with him,” Deacon Loepker said. “He was stalwart.”

The following year, Deacon Grillo moved to Virginia to be closer to family, but he never lost the affection of the parish community he had served for decades.

“I think Tony will be remembered for his New York ‘I’ll tell you how it is’ attitude, but New Yorkers are also hugely generous people,” Deacon Chase said. “And he was with his time and his ministries. He had so much compassion.”

A funeral Mass for Deacon Grillo will be offered Nov. 28 at 1 p.m. at Our Lady of the Fields, 1070 S. Cecil Ave., Millersville.

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