More than 600 men urged to ‘mind the gap’ at Catholic men’s conference

LINTHICUM – Being a true Christian disciple isn’t about checking off boxes – going to Mass and holy days of obligation, saying prayers, believing all the correct doctrines and doing good works.

While those disciplines are essential to growing in faith, God wants something even deeper.

That was the message Edward Sri delivered to more than 600 men at the March 9 conference of the Catholic Men’s Fellowship of Maryland.

“God wants more than our exterior obedience,” Sri said. “He wants our hearts.”

The Catholic theologian encouraged his audience to remember three ubiquitous words that are posted throughout London’s Underground: “Mind the Gap.”

The message is meant to warn travelers along the subterranean railroad system about not falling into the space between the platform and the train.

“Do you mind the gaps in your life?” Sri asked. “Do I love like Jesus loves? Do I forgive like he forgives? Am I patient like Jesus is patient? Am I generous like Jesus is generous?”

Sri, a prolific author and senior vice president of apostolic outreach with FOCUS (Fellowship of Catholic University Students), suggested that men should constantly be thinking about the gaps in their lives and then work to close them. That could mean asking forgiveness from their wives, consistently praying every day, letting go of grudges or spending more time with their children, he said.

He encouraged men to be honest with God about the areas of life where they struggle.

“God doesn’t just want to forgive you,” Sri said. “He doesn’t want to just pardon you like a judge. He wants to heal you like a physician and get to the roots of your weaknesses.”

The theme of this year’s Catholic Men’s Conference, held at St. Philip Neri in Linthicum, was “Jesus Christ: Yesterday, Today and Forever.”

In addition to listening to talks and sharing a lunch, men formed long lines to go to confession and attended a closing Mass celebrated by Archbishop William E. Lori.

Peter Herbeck, executive vice president and director of missions with Renewal Ministries, recounted the story of his father, a World War II combat veteran who served as a tank commander in the Battle of the Bulge and who helped liberate a concentration camp.

“When Dad came home, he had a bunch of medals and he had all kinds of amazing stuff he brought back from the war,” Herbeck said, “but he also brought back an enormous amount of pain – a pain he couldn’t talk about.”

Herbeck said his father dealt with that pain by abusing alcohol. When Herbeck was a junior in high school, his oldest sister called to say she had something important she wanted to share with the family. She recounted how during a Bible study group session in her parish in rural Minnesota, someone told her that when her group prayed for her father, God spoke into his heart and told him that God would heal her father.

“She looked at us and said, ‘Jesus Christ is alive. He’s not dead,’” Herbeck remembered.

“The problem is we don’t believe that Christ is alive and can make a difference right now.”

After hearing that message, Herbeck later prayed on his knees for his father’s healing. Two weeks later, his father squeezed Herbeck’s arm and, with a tear running down his face, asked for help.

Herbeck’s father would undergo treatment for alcoholism and go on to experience 20 years of sobriety that lasted all the way to the end of his life. The entire family culture changed forever, Herbeck said.

“We still watched football games, we still ate good food, we still played cards and poker and all that kind of stuff, but do you know what we did a lot? We’d stay up late at night and talk – ‘What’s so great about your life? How are you doing? What are you struggling with?,’” Herbeck said. “We learned how to talk from the heart about painful things. We laughed. We cried. We prayed with each other.”

Herbeck urged his listeners to learn to speak from the heart with their own loved ones.

Participants of this year’s conference said they found support in living their Catholic faith by talking with other men at the 25th annual gathering.

“One of the biggest challenges to being a Christian man is all the outside noises you hear from everywhere,” said Chris Hudson, a 40-year-old parishioner of St. Jane Frances de Chantal in Riviera Beach.

Hudson, a husband and father of two, said he tries to limit his sons’ exposure to the internet and be conscious of what is coming into the home from outside. He knows the dangers of what’s out there in the popular culture, he said.

“Even for myself, as an adult, that can lead you down a path you don’t want to be on,” he said. “So you have to stay grounded.”

Habtamu Beture, a 51-year-old parishioner of St. Isaac Jogues in Carney and an immigrant from Ethiopia, said attending the conference reminded him of his responsibilities as a Catholic husband.

“Every individual is called to take his spouse to heaven,” he said. “We have lived for 21 years in marriage and I try to apply that by helping her in her speech, in the spiritual life – forgiving her and caring for her and then also giving her room to help me and support me as well.”

In his homily at the closing Mass, Archbishop Lori reflected on the parable of the tax collector who prays before God humbly while the Pharisee celebrated his own presumed righteousness.

“The Pharisee looked down on just about everyone else, convinced that they couldn’t compete with his righteousness,” the archbishop said. “But the tax collector entered the arena not relying on his own strength, but relying on the grace and mercy of God, the power of God to expiate his sins. The Pharisee tapped into his own power and lost. The tax collector tapped into the power of God. He won the day.”

Email George Matysek at gmatysek@CatholicReview.org

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