Souls on their way 

Each year, I find that I know more and more people on the other side of this earthly journey than the previous year. Some years are more painful than others, such as 2024, when I lost three friends within several months of each other. 

My dad passed away in 2003 and my mom in 2005. I miss them terribly, and yet I feel their presence often, in ways I cannot explain. But I regret not being able to call and talk to them, to share what’s going on in my life and to know they are there.  

In September, a friend I have known since college passed away after valiantly fighting cancer that had started in his hip and eventually moved to his lungs. My wife and I were able to get together with Doug and his wife, Karen, in July and I was able to connect via video call every few weeks in the months following, speaking for the last time a few days before he went home to God. His death struck me particularly, not just because we were so close in age, but because of all that we shared. 

Despite living far apart, Doug was my closest and longest friend. Our friendship started almost 50 years ago in freshman year of college when we were in the same dorm in seminary. Most of our classmates went home on weekends, but he and I both had jobs closer to campus, so we ended up spending a lot of time together after our workdays ended – talking, watching TV, bowling, doing laundry and eating pizza.  

We both eventually discerned our way out of the seminary and into life as husbands and fathers. I went to work in the Catholic press. Doug worked for a while as a youth minister, eventually working as an assistant youth ministry director in a diocese. He later made his way back into paint sales (his college job), traveling around the upper Midwest to visit clients. When I grumbled about my 95-mile roundtrip commute, I would often remind myself of the tens of thousands of miles he drove to provide for his family. 

That family included three children, including a daughter with special needs – intellectual and physical disabilities. Doug and Karen ensured their daughter had all the care she needed. In recent years, the school she attended opened a residential program that was providential because while their daughter had a place to live and be cared for, Karen was able to focus her attention on Doug’s care during his illness. 

I don’t want to focus only on my friend’s struggles. He was a hardworking person of integrity and faith. He laughed well. He enjoyed his life and his family. He’s one of the finest people I will ever know. 

As we approach All Saints Day and All Souls Day, I frequently consider where those loved are now. We talk often within the Church about the Communion of Saints – those who we believe, with faith, are in heaven with our loving God. That includes those whom the Church has declared as saints, as well as holy people who are not named in the liturgical calendars.  

I am confident that my parents are among them. I also believe Doug is now held in Jesus’ embrace, free from pain and fear and no longer facing the miles of travel that once lay before him on the road home. 

If not quite there yet, however, I continue to pray for these friends and family members, and for the “communion of souls” in purgatory, as they make their way toward being welcomed as saints. 

We miss our loved ones who have gone before us, marked with the sign of faith. We look forward to joining them someday in the light of eternity. 

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