Having had the honor of celebrating a Day of Recollection at Our Lady of Fatima Parish, with more than 300 members of ‘Seniors Involved’ – a group sponsored by Catholic Charities and coordinated by Sister Joan Marie Stief, O.S.B. – I’ve been pondering the idea of aging gracefully. This group was so kind, so appreciative, so thoughtful, so prayerful, that I have to conclude that we can make choices that make our later years better. But what helps us to age gracefully?
While I already have workshops planned for Bon Secours Spiritual Center in 2008, allow me to focus on just one aspect in this column – the importance of laughter.
Julie Andrews highlighted this insight with a marvelous performance at Manhattan’s Radio City Music Hall to celebrate her 69th birthday. She sang a new version of “My Favorite Things” from the “Sound of Music.” Here is her new version:
“Maalox and nose drops and needles for knitting, Walkers and handrails and new dental fittings, Bundles of magazines tied up in strings, These are a few of my favorite things.
Cadillacs, and cataracts, hearing aids and glasses, Polident and Fixodent, and false teeth and glasses, Pacemakers, golf carts and porches with swings, These are a few of my favorite things.
When the pipes leak, When the bones creak, When the knees go bad, I simply remember my favorite things And then I don’t feel so bad.
Hot tea and crumpets and corn pads for bunions No spicy hot foods or food cooked with onions, Bathrobes and heating pads and hot meals they bring, These are a few of my favorite things.
Back pains, confused brains, and no need for sinnin’ Thin bones and fractures and hair that is thinnin’, And we won’t mention our short, shrunken frames, When we remember our favorite things.
When the joints ache, When the hips break, When the eyes grow dim, Then I remember the great life I’ve had, And then I don’t feel so bad.”
Julie Andrews received a four-minute, standing ovation.
My favorite definition of laughter is that it’s jogging for the intestines. There’s no wear and tear on the knees. It lowers blood pressure. It raises our spirits.
Laughter is possible if we believe that life is fundamentally good. Yes, there are tragedies in life. But we dare to believe that there is also a God of life. Good defeats evil every time because evil is limited, but good is infinite because good comes from God.
The word JOY captures it: J for Jesus; O for others; Y for yourself. If we love the Lord, love others and love ourselves, we will know joy. What are some other ingredients for joy?
We will know joy if we believe our lives have purpose. So often I hear aging folks ask: “Why am I still here?” I usually give the profound answer: “Because God wants you here.” If life has purpose, then there is purpose to the later years of our lives. While we may not be able to do what we have done in the past, we can still offer a smile, speak a kind word, express an encouraging word. We can learn the art of helping others by simply listening to them.
We will know joy if we have learned to forgive others. Bitterness is like drinking poison, hoping our enemy will get sick. Someone may have said or done something in the past to hurt us. Every time we think about that, we hurt ourselves. Forgiveness is freeing ourselves from the burden of hurtful memories.
We will know joy if we have learned to forgive ourselves. We can’t and don’t always make the right decision. Forgiving ourselves is accepting our own humanity and accepting God’s unconditional love. After all, Jesus revealed God as a father, not a petty tyrant with petty grudges.
Laughter, then, is rooted in joy, and joy is grounded in our relationship with God. The image we have of God will determine the image we have of ourselves.
Finally, at least for this short column, joy comes from delighting in the wisdom of children. Recently, a grandmother told me that her next door neighbor’s cat had had its tail cut off. Her little granddaughter replied: “I will get the cat a new tail!” “Where?” asked the grandmother. “At Wal-Mart,” the little girl replied. Great wisdom isn’t it? After all, Wal-Mart is a re-tail outlet!
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