Every year, my siblings and I assemble a calendar of family photos for our parents. We take turns, so most years I’m not in charge of the gift, which we wrap and place proudly under their Christmas tree.
Every five years, though, I get the chance to take the reins and design the calendar. This year, ready or not, it’s my turn.
It’s so much fun, but it’s also an enormous undertaking. With six children and more than 20 grandchildren to feature, creating the calendar can feel like a giant Jenga game. You need to make sure everyone is represented equally and that no birthdays or anniversaries are overlooked. Do we have enough Halloween shots? Did we include one of the twins more than the other? How does that one child seem to slip into every photo?
Some years we are waiting for a grandchild to be born later in the year, and we wonder when we can finalize the calendar. This year, with a new niece born in October, I will have no excuse if our gift for my parents is late. The job is mine, and the deadline is looming.
There is, of course, no pressure from my parents. They would never comment that one grandchild was featured too often or that their favorite photo from the year didn’t make it into the finished product. They wouldn’t criticize the work if the creator forgot to include their anniversary or accidentally included two – or even three – photos of Kateri on the merry-go-round.
On Christmas Day, they will open it with joy and gratitude. They will admire the photos, hang the calendar in a place of honor in their kitchen, and look at it several times a day.
The calendar will be loved and enjoyed regardless of whether it’s artistically and meticulously done. And truthfully, my parents will be happier to have time with their children and grandchildren over the holidays than they will be to unwrap any present. I’m trying to keep that in mind as I make the calendar – and as we begin Advent and the journey toward Christmas.
It can be easy to feel pressured to have all the traditions of the holiday beautifully celebrated – the idyllic image of children singing around the tree, the cookies sliding out of the oven to a smiling sea of faces, the cards mailed well in advance, the lights and decorations just so, and the presents meticulously wrapped.
In our imaginations, there would be no children crying because their schedules are thrown off, no illnesses hitting the household, no disagreements during dinner and no issue with the gravy. But that’s not reality. Even the most idyllic Christmas has its wrinkles and challenges, and we might need to give ourselves some of the grace that our father in heaven would give us.
Perhaps instead of striving for perfection, we can simply approach the Advent and Christmas season as a chance to grow closer to God and spend time with those we love. That would be a gift to ourselves during this hectic time of year – and even that might feel like too much to take on during these full Advent days.
Still, wherever we are on our own personal journeys, God will be ready to meet us at the manger on Christmas Day. Like my parents when they open their calendar, God will greet us with open arms, happy we are with him, and wanting to be close to us. We don’t need every detail to be perfect.
“Do not tire yourself over things that cause anxiety and worry,” St. Pio of Pietrelcina said. “Only one thing is necessary: to lift up your spirit and love God.”
As we walk toward Christmas, may we try to view this season as one of opportunity rather than obligation, being open to the journey and to the ways we can give and receive.
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