The beauty of Ballerina Farm mom’s nine kids

During a recent visit to St. Paul, Minn., I found myself in a long, glass-paneled room bursting with flowers of all colors, shapes and sizes.

Some appeared otherworldly, like the South African veltheimia with its tubular blossoms. Others introduced a more classic elegance, such as the white camellias from East Asia. All were beautiful.

As I walked through the flower show at Como Park Zoo and Conservatory with a dear friend, I marveled at each one and its unique contribution to the larger garden.

I thought of this while watching a social media post that criticized influencer Hannah Neeleman. In the post, which went viral, a writer named Rebecca Reid responds to the news that Neeleman is expecting her ninth child. Neeleman, a Juilliard-trained ballerina and beauty pageant winner who shares her home and family life with millions online, runs Ballerina Farm with her husband, Daniel, in the mountains of northern Utah.

“You cannot give nine children adequate time, attention and connection,” Reid addressed Neeleman in a March 1 post. “You are, unquestionably, with nine children, spending less time with your children than a working parent with two kids.”

Online, hundreds of people came to Neeleman’s defense, including national pro-life leaders.

“Only in a culture that treats children as inconveniences would nine kids be seen as a tragedy instead of a blessing!” said Kristan Hawkins, a Catholic and president of Students for Life of America and Students for Life Action. “Love doesn’t run out; it multiplies.”

Lila Rose, founder and president of Live Action, responded by calling her seven siblings her best friends and saying her family spent time together often. Older children learn to help with younger children, and younger children learn to play with other younger children, she added.

“It’s not always dependent on mom to play with, entertain, and provide personally 100% of all care for every kid,” said Rose, a Catholic. “Kids learn that life is full of love but life isn’t only about them, and that life is about loving and being loved by other people.”

She concluded with a quote frequently attributed to St. Teresa of Kolkata: “How can you say there are too many children? It’s like saying there are too many flowers.”

These leaders expressed what many in the pro-life movement know: That every child, from the moment of conception, has inherent dignity and worth. That every baby is unrepeatable and irreplaceable. That all children are a blessing — a gift — from God.

Another thing Reid misses is that every couple is called to discern their marriage and family — and what one may be called to, another may not be.

More doesn’t necessarily mean better: Families who struggle with infertility or secondary infertility shouldn’t feel less-than or inadequate because they have welcomed fewer children or none at all. Indeed, these families may discover a calling to help children in need, such as through foster care, adoption or service in their community.

Every family is different. Every family is unique. But one thing should remain consistent: Instead of telling pregnant women “you cannot,” we should empower them by saying, “You can. You are loved. Your child is loved. You are not alone. How can we help?”

Instead of judging families because they look different, we should be walking with them. We should embrace a world of variety, not a cookie-cutter life.

It is through variety and diversity that God’s creativity and imagination become obvious. At the flower show, the blue blossoms made the pink ones pop. The smaller plants accentuated the larger bushes.

Perfection does not mean the little violet tries to become a splendid rose, as St. Thérèse of Lisieux, a beloved 19th-century French Carmelite nun, suggested. Perfection means being who we were meant to be — embracing who God wills us to be — and helping others do the same.

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