During my husband’s years in business school, he learned about the power of the “nudge”: how to form a new habit by connecting it to a habit you already have. This practice changed my life, because (apologies to my dentist) the nudge is the only way I started flossing regularly.
He explained the nudge as we stood in our bathroom staring at the toothbrush holder. Since I was already in the habit of brushing my teeth twice a day, I simply needed to put the flosser in the space where I usually kept my toothbrush. That way, when I would automatically reach for the brush, I’d remember the nudge to floss first.
Miracle of miracles, it worked! So last night as I was flossing, I started to wonder: What if we carried over this nudge practice to our prayer lives, too?
Think about what already nudges you to pray: the daily news, a friend’s request, the sound of church bells or an ambulance racing by. Then think about the routines you do without thinking. What could you pair with prayer, to give yourself an easy-to-remember nudge at work or home?
When you open the fridge, say a quick prayer of thanks for the gift of food. When you leave the house, bless yourself with holy water by the door. When you pass a hospital, pray for the patients and caregivers. When you hug your kids or grandkids, thank God for the gift of their lives. Daily life offers us a thousand simple ways to pray.
Many people love to make New Year’s resolutions, but studies estimate that only 9 percent keep them. Learning about the power of the nudge can help us make — and keep — new habits. Friends have told me about laying out their workout clothes at night to remind them to exercise in the morning. Some families say a prayer in the car every time they drive past a church or cemetery. What if you looked at your daily habits and added one nudge to pray?
If you brew coffee first thing in the morning, you could pray for the workers who picked the beans — or pray for the spouse who shares the coffee pot with you. If you’re quick to click on a certain app, set your Bible next to your phone — or change the wallpaper on your home screen to remind you to pray.
I’ve made myself a few nudges like this over the years. During one season when several friends were going through difficult pregnancies, I decided to pray every time I picked up a laundry basket, to remember those who were carrying heavy burdens. Once when I got exasperated with tripping over piles of kids’ shoes by the back door, I realized I could turn my annoyance into a sneaky prayer: to pray for each child as I straightened their shoes (and reminded them to straighten their shoes in turn).
This year I’m taking a nudge from my husband again. During one Lent he started reading the Mass readings via email every day, and it’s still the first thing he does when he picks up his phone each morning. Lately I’ve been more likely to scroll through the news or social media, neither of which nudge me to pray the way that Scripture does. So I’m trying to build a new habit by putting my prayer book on top of my phone at night, to remember to pick it up first in the morning.
How can you change your prayer habits with an easy, unmistakable reminder? If you need a visual cue, stick a note on your mirror. If you prefer an alarm, set a reminder on your phone. Notice where your strongest habits are, and build on a nudge to pray.
And who knows: you might even start flossing every day, too.
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