Traveler, there is no road

The Spanish poet, Antonio Machado, wrote: “Traveler, there is no road; you make your own path as you walk.”

Jesuit Father Brendan McManus shared those words in a blog post recently. Ever since McManus’s first book, “Redemption Road, Grieving on the Camino,” he’s taken us with him on walks long and short. He’s a veteran of the Camino, a network of pilgrimage walks through Spain, but he’s gladly led walkers through the hills of his native Ireland as well.

“Redemption Road” took McManus on a journey to process his brother Donal’s suicide. I found the book consoling, as my own brother had taken his life years earlier.

I will confess that I have never walked anything like a Camino pilgrimage. I love to walk, more so as I get older, but I’m not a long-distance hiker. As they say these days, I try to get my steps in.

So on a beautiful, crisp fall morning, I leave the house with a cup of hot coffee in my hand, not my usual practice. My husband laughs at me for drinking coffee as I “exercise.” But with a tight-fitting lid on my travel cup, I can walk at a good clip with an occasional sip. I see guys riding by on their bikes with a coffee cup in one hand so I feel vindicated.

This is my morning prayer walk. Today, I am more concerned that Jesus walks with me than I am about my pace.

I think we all struggle to pray. We are all beset by distractions, doubts, worries. So sometimes we switch it up and try a new way of praying. A prayer walk is my current new way. One thing I leave behind is my phone. In the midst of frustration over my lack of prayerful attention, I can resort to checking one — or more — of my online prayer sites for inspiration.

That might be a good thing if you do it before your prayer time begins, or after. Reading and praying with the day’s lectionary readings can also be fruitful. But scrolling for “inspiration” during prayer is just another detour from prayer, and takes your eyes off God.

In prayer, God is present. All the time. Unfortunately, I am not always so present.

So, as I begin my walk, I ask Jesus to give me a listening heart. I begin with thankfulness, gratitude. Then I acknowledge to him my present worries. I try to be very honest with Jesus about my fears and my feelings. I avoid the insistent prayers of petition that I can sometimes invoke, instead just briefly lifting them to Jesus to hold. I ask for the grace of listening, noticing.

I lift up the people I love, people who have asked for prayer, the world’s deep needs. I whisper a good morning to my favorite saints who may walk with me on this journey around the neighborhood. I push distractions away, yet consider that sometimes a distraction may be precisely what I’m called to pray about, and I give that to Jesus as well. I ask Jesus to help me be discerning as I face decisions this day. Sometimes I cry.

There’s another expression, “Two people shorten the road.” That’s why books like McManus’ can be helpful. As he prays on his pilgrimages, he spends time in solitary prayer but also reaches out for the community you find on the road.

I think of Mary of Magdala, and the conversations and friendship she must have shared with Jesus on the long walks Jesus made with his friends.

On my morning walk, I make my own path but I don’t journey alone.

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