Catholic Review writer and parent Nancy Menefee Jackson, who volunteers as an assistant JV coach, thinks school sports practices are essential and recognizes the need for practices and games during holiday breaks. Catholic Review writer and parent Suzanne Molino Singleton thinks the opposite – free time is family time when kids deserve a break from school and the rigorous schedule it offers.
Suzanne
Practice makes perfect, so it’s said, but no one – and no team – is perfect, so why practice so much? At least on family time. I am a parent who encourages her kids to play sports and to experience teamwork, yet I do not regard sports very seriously. I am not the mom in the stands ringing the cow bell. It’s only a game. Lessons are learned, absolutely, and it will never harm any kid to exert himself playing. However, sports are not the ultimate victory in life. There are more significant things than a touchdown or a goal … like family time. That’s why on my family’s clock, I resent when my kids have sports practice, say during Easter break, or all summer long. It affects our entire family. Don’t the coaches want family time, too?
Nancy
We would love some family time! But we’ve made a commitment to a group of kids who want to play at a certain level. In recreational sports the emphasis is on fun and learning fundamentals. But high school is where sports become about commitment and achievement, both as a team and as individuals. After years of playing on teams where everyone gets equal playing time regardless of ability or how that affects the score, athletes in high school can be competitive. Team spots are limited; kids get cut. Because of that, I think the kids who make the team owe it to those who were cut to demonstrate commitment to a high caliber of play. To achieve that level of play takes practice – more than fits into the traditional school calendar.
Suzanne
I don’t consent to your point that more time is required than what fits into the school calendar. Five practices a week isn’t enough? And I’ve caught wind from a parent that one of our Catholic schools plans to hold varsity basketball practice on Christmas Eve. C’mon, Christmas Eve? We’re Catholics for heaven’s sake! Coaches have been known to schedule practices on Good Friday, too, and another parent reported repeated Sunday practices. Now, I can overlook the kids who sit through Mass dressed in a soccer uniform and cleats, but what about the absentee families who are forced to schlep to a Sunday morning game or practice on Sabbath, “the day of rest and worship?” Our Catholic schools cannot lose sight here of what to place first. At St. Francis Xavier, we are reminded each time we leave parish grounds – a permanent substantial sign is planted in the lawn –“God is first.”
Nancy
Find the church that has Mass at 6 p.m. on Sunday! Seriously, Saturdays and Sundays are often easier days to practice – traffic is light, you can have the field or gym longer, parents don’t have to work. A problem coaches spot during weekday games can be addressed at a weekend practice. And I know the week between Christmas and New Year’s is a big one for basketball tournaments, and you have to prepare for a tournament. It’s also important that every player be there. Teams have both offensive and defensive plays, and it’s so frustrating to want to work on a play and the kid who will start it or the one who will set the pick isn’t there! It also makes it hard for coaches to foster teamwork. If the leading scorer misses practices for a family trip, should you start them in the next game? If you do, you’re playing favorites and other players resent it. But if you don’t, you’re playing with a weaker team. Parents probably don’t realize they put coaches in that difficult position when they pull kids out of practice.
Suzanne
I had a feeling you’d say find another Mass, yet that seems impossible for families to do when faced with such a rigorous agenda of games and practices taking up the entire weekend. And coaches squeeze parents into a tight spot, too – moms and dads aren’t going to voice their gripes of any schedule for fear a coach may “take it out” on their kids by benching them. As far as the “big” week for tournaments planned between Christmas and New Year’s (do you think Jesus played basketball the day after his birthday?), this is a case in point exactly! It’s the holiday “break” – there goes any likelihood of skipping out of Maryland to play with the family. Sports end up ruling and dictating our personal time. Guess I better go buy a cow bell.
Nancy
I don’t think any coach will mind a player attending Mass. But how many practices does the player miss overall? Is practice always seen as expendable? It’s a big difference to miss one Sunday practice because of church and to miss a whole week because of family vacations and activities. We’re asking that players, and yes, families, commit to the sport and be dedicated. They need to consider how their actions affect the team as a whole; it’s no longer just about them. Those are valuable life lessons, too. Kids need to learn that to be good at something – even just to be a part of something – requires a commitment of time and energy and tough choices. I would suggest asking before tryouts what is expected in terms of tournaments, post-season play, extra practices, etc. Knowing the expectations up front will keep you from having to confront the coach in mid-season. And do remember that coaches don’t control the schedules – they’re at the mercy of the tournament and league schedule, too.
Who gets the last word? Nancy and Suzanne agree on one point
Both parents and coaches could improve their communication concerning sports schedules. Coaches should try to make a practice schedule ahead of time and inform parents of any changes, and parents should inform coaches in advance when their athlete must miss.
Send any comments or letters to the editor to mail@catholicreview.org or 880 Park Ave., Baltimore, Md. 21201.
