Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Who do you want to be?


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Catholic Review Filed Under: Commentary, The Domestic Church

One summer as our son was preparing to start kindergarten, he announced he knew what he wanted to be for Halloween. He would dress up as Darth Vader. He couldn’t wait to get the costume.

I didn’t pay that much attention the first few times he mentioned it. At that age, our children were often imagining their next Halloween costume – and Halloween was still a long way off. But he kept talking about it. I started thinking maybe we should just get him his outfit.

A few people in my life thought I should make him wait. If we bought a costume in July or August, it might not even last until October. What if our little boy didn’t even still like Star Wars a few months later? Or what if he ripped it in that interval? The money would be wasted, and we would have to get him an entirely new costume.

There are times to be sensible, and there are times when you figure life is short. Darth Vader costumes are as much fun in August as they are in October. I explained to our son that he would need to keep it in good shape through Halloween, and he happily agreed. We placed the order and then counted the minutes … the hours … the long days until the costume arrived.

When it came, our little Star Wars fan opened the package right away and pulled the costume over his head.

I tied the black cape over his shoulders, he put the mask over his face, and he turned to look at himself in the mirror. Immediately he assumed the part of Darth Vader. His voice became raspy. He lifted his hands to show me how he could use “the force.” And he strode through the house with power and dignity.

As we counted down to Halloween, our little boy wore the costume every day. It became part of our lives, adding a touch of flair to our ordinary days. Although I had worried that he might rip the outfit, he kept it in good shape. When Oct. 31 arrived, Darth Vader proudly marched in the school Halloween parade and then went trick-ortreating through the neighborhood.

Every Halloween, as we greet trickor- treaters on our front steps, I admire the different costumes – and think of how much care our children put into selecting those outfits every year. The characters they pick reflect their interests, making a statement to their friends about who they are and what matters to them.

From an early age, we start thinking about who we want to become – at Halloween and in life. Along the way, people in our lives guide us. But sometimes we have a sense of who we want to be deep within us. I don’t believe ideas like that come from us. They come from God, who understands us inside and out. He knows how we can grow and learn and transform. He gives us clues – gently and then more firmly if we don’t see them – and helps draw us closer to that better version of ourselves, and closer to him.

There’s something about this season of the year that makes me think of positive transformation. Maybe there’s something about ourselves that we want to change or do more of or recommit to in a brand-new way. Or maybe there’s just a small voice inside of us encouraging us to take on a new opportunity as part of our identity, even if it seems challenging or we can’t see where it might lead.

“To live is to change, and to be perfect is to have changed often,” said Blessed Cardinal John Henry Newman.

You’re never too old to dress up for Halloween, and you’re never too old to consider how God might be asking you to change. 

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