When I was a child, my world was small, and we walked almost everywhere.
We kicked a stone through the alleys as we meandered to the convenience store to buy a slushie on a hot summer day. We strolled over to McCrory’s and Caldor’s to do our Christmas shopping, and to the video store to rent a movie. We would yell out, “I’ll be back later!” as we bolted out of the house, letting the screen door slam shut behind us.
If my mother needed something from the store, we slipped cash or a blank check into our pocket and headed over to the Giant, squeezing through a gap in the fence and shimmying down a dusty hillside to get there. As we got older, we even walked to the mall sometimes. That was a true adventure. But anything and everything was possible. The world was ours to discover.
We didn’t have phones to stay in touch with our parents, though sometimes we carried a quarter – or maybe it was 35 cents – so we could call from a pay phone. I remember telling my mother where we were going and when we would be back, and that was enough. We felt responsible and independent and mature. I’m not sure we deserved the freedom we were given, but we accepted it, nonetheless.
I think of that freedom I enjoyed as I watch our children become teenagers. They certainly have some independence, but it is not the same as what I remember from my childhood. It is a different world and a different time, and we don’t live in a neighborhood with as much to discover within walking distance.
But these days, as we grant our teens greater freedom, I need to stop and remind myself that they are capable of so much – and that they will only learn to handle more as I entrust them with more. One of the hardest aspects of parenting is letting your children face new, challenging situations and hoping they can navigate them on their own.
As we’ve moved into the world of learners’ permits and later nights out with friends, I have come to see that letting go is not my favorite. In theory, I want my children to be independent, but the truth is that they always feel ready for the next step before I am.
Every year as the school year ends, I realize our children are gearing up for a new transition – to a new grade, maybe a new school, maybe the first summer job. Something new is just around the corner.
For them to grow, I need to grow too – in faith, trust and the belief that we have prepared them as well as we can for this next chapter, and that God will do the rest. I try to remember that even though I am grown up myself, I am also a work in progress. I can have my own goals and dreams and hopes for the new steps I might take, even as an adult. I just need to be open to God’s work in my life.
“Unfurl the sails, and let God steer us where he will,” said St. Bede the Venerable.
Spring offers a beautiful time for us to think of our next adventure, whatever that might be. May we be open to the newness of this season, stepping forward in faith and trusting that God is with us, every step of the way.
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