Marriage proposal in RCIA class a first for Harford County parish

These days, most marriage proposals are carefully choreographed events, involving unique destinations on special dates with the happy couple often accompanied by a prearranged photographer.

Matthew Sennett, a parishioner of St. Margaret in Bel Air, chose a much less glamorous, but meaningful path for his proposal. He proposed to girlfriend, Bethany Smith, during her Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults class at their Harford County parish.

Sennett, a 33-year-old computer engineer with the U.S. Army, got down on one knee in front of the RCIA group after getting the go-ahead from St. Margaret associate pastor and RICA coordinator Father Michael Rubeling. 

Smith said “yes” to rousing applause. She said she couldn’t have thought of a better place for the proposal than in front of her “new Catholic family.”

“I was very excited and extremely surprised,” said Smith, who works at Harford Day School and turns 27 at the end of March. “I had an idea he was going to propose, but no idea he would do it at RCIA class. At this moment in my life, I’m very close to everyone in RCIA class. They are my family.”

Smith was raised Lutheran, but called herself “just a practicing Christian” when she attended a Christmas Mass with Sennett at St. Margaret in 2019. 

“I just loved the atmosphere,” she said. “Everyone was so warm and welcoming. It seemed like everyone was practicing what they preached.”

Sennett said he and Smith talked about an engagement, and she indicated she wanted to be surprised and not have the proposal fall on a trite date such as Valentine’s Day or New Year’s Eve. 

Sennett, who attended religious education courses from elementary school through high school at St. Margaret, came up with the idea of asking for her hand in marriage after looking over RCIA material. He noticed the group would be discussing the sacrament Jan. 26 and asked Father Rubeling if a proposal during class would be appropriate.

Sennett didn’t want to disrupt the group’s studies and “make it about us.” After getting the OK from Father Rubeling, he made his pitch and the couple now plans to get married May 20, 2023, at St. Margaret.

“I think it is great that we could share this with others,” Sennett said. “I always thought the sacrament of marriage was the most important thing, and I wanted to involve the church in some way with the proposal. Bethany said she wanted to be surprised, and she certainly was.”

Father Rubeling has been leading RCIA classes for five years and he said the moment that drew “audible gasps” from the RCIA candidates and their sponsors was a first for him.

“It was such a special moment,” said Father Rubeling, who is scheduled to officiate at the wedding. “It’s so beautiful that this couple yearns to have a sacramental wedding. I always tell our RCIA team to pray for our candidates, and I believe this was the fruit from those prayers.

“It was just a great witness and testimony to God’s power in the world, especially at a time when there is so much darkness.”

It also was a new experience for the RCIA team at St. Margaret.

“We try to make the RCIA team and process feel like joining not just a church community, but a church family,” said Kathleen Reilly, executive assistant for the parish.

Email Gerry Jackson at gjackson@CatholicReview.org

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