My son Michael was 5 years old when he played his first season of organized youth soccer. By “played,” I mean he participated fully in practices on weeknights, but game day Saturday was an entirely different scene.
At game time, Michael was petrified to step onto the field with his teammates. He stood frozen on the sideline, unwilling to enter the noisy fray of a chaotic contest. I stood with him on the sidelines, doing my best to be a patient and understanding father. I tried many times to lead him onto the field and coax him to join in. He wouldn’t budge. Michael and I had talks on the drive home after each failed attempt to get him to play. Among the factors that he said frightened him were fear of failing with others watching, and fear of losing.
I consider Michael’s youthful trepidation as I look at my own life as a Catholic.
As a grown man, I recognize the numerous times that I’ve been unwilling to get off the sidelines and fully participate as our Lord calls us to in our baptism. Like my young son who allowed himself to take part in soccer practice, I participate in Sunday Mass. There I find comfort, familiarity and communion. Participation in the sacrifice of the Mass is vital and uplifting. I’ve strived to live a Christ-centered life of charity and good works, yet when it comes time for the big moments in which God has called us to spread his good news, to go and make disciples of others, I’ve been reluctant to step onto the field.
It is the mission of the Church and every Christian to spread the Gospel, to go and make disciples of others. While Michael said he was fearful of failure and losing in soccer, I look at myself and consider that I have similar fears when presented with the call to evangelize. Will I say the right things the right way? Will I represent my faith in God effectively and lovingly? Will I face harsh judgment or rejection? Like Michael at the soccer field, am I afraid of losing?
Just as I stood patiently on the sidelines with my son, our Lord has stood patiently with me. He has led me out into the field to spread his word, and he has coaxed me to fulfill my baptismal calling to make disciples of others.
Reluctant and fearful for some time, I now find myself filled with confidence, trust and doubtless duty to accept the mission he’s called me to. I’ve gained greater clarity and understanding that we are the hands and feet of Jesus. I look forward to sharing with you in this space how God has moved me to heed his call. In addition to continued prayer and the love and support of my wife Megan, I am consulting with trusted leaders and mentors who will help me walk the path ahead. It’s the path God has always had for me. I feel great zeal and purpose for wherever he leads me.
An update to Michael’s refusal to participate in soccer games when he was 5 years old: he is 8 now, and he is an absolute dynamo on game days! His on-field energy, passion and desire now take my breath away when I watch him. I am truly glad that I was patient with him. I am deeply grateful that our Lord is patient with me. I go forward with his words from John 14:27 “Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
Let’s walk fearlessly together, my friends.
Mark Viviano was a guest on the Aug. 18, 2024, episode of Catholic Review Radio. Click play below to listen to the show.
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