• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
        • Sports News
        • Official Clergy Assignments
        • Schools News
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Question Corner
          • George Weigel
          • Elizabeth Scalia
          • Michael R. Heinlein
          • Effie Caldarola
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Mark Viviano
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie & Television Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
        • Recipes
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • CR Media platforms
        • Electronic Edition
  • Advertising
  • Shop
        • Purchase Photos
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • Magazine Subscriptions
        • Archdiocesan Directory
  • CR Radio
        • CR Radio
        • Protagonistas de Fe
  • News Tips
  • Subscribe
A statue of Christ at St. Mary’s Historic Church and Cemetery in Rockville. (OSV News photo/Tyler Orsburn)

‘Self-deferential love’

June 22, 2023
By Archbishop William E. Lori
Catholic Review
Filed Under: Commentary, From the Archbishop

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

To be self-referential is to arrange the world around oneself, as far as possible, according to one’s preferences and plans, without regard for the consequences of our choices on others, especially loved ones and co-workers. This tendency takes many forms, for example, the cult of celebrities whose every utterance, they believe, should command our undivided attention. It is found among those who amass wealth with little concern for the poor. Associating only with those whom we like or those with whom we agree is yet another way of being self-referential, to say nothing of the self-absorption induced by hours of staring at the screens of mobile devices.

Self-referentiality all too easily creeps into the Church’s life. Sometimes it takes the form of “clericalism,” a tendency on the part of clergy to regard themselves as privileged, a tendency to shelter themselves to the extent possible from the demands of ministry and the needs of people.

But such tendencies can affect anyone involved in the Church’s life, for example, when decisions are made for the convenience and security of the decision-makers and not for the good of the mission. Or when complacency dampens initiative. Or when people cling to their responsibilities in the Church’s life so tenaciously that they discourage other members of the Church from participating.

Elitism is another form of self-absorption, a tendency of individuals and communities to regard themselves as more enlightened than the rest of the Church. Even holiness can be pursued as a private concern, with a sole focus on one’s salvation.

What is the antidote? Like his predecessors, Pope Francis continually proclaims that the cure for all forms of self-referentiality is a continual and authentic encounter with the person of Christ. Christ is powerfully present in the Church’s life and is never far away from any of us. He loves us unconditionally, but we often love conditionally, placing limits on our response to his infinite love and mercy. Are we willing to risk opening our hearts to Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit? Will we allow Christ to transform our hearts?

When we open our hearts to Christ, we enter into the mystery of God’s life. In Christ, who is one with the Father in the bond of the Holy Spirit, we discover the self-giving, self-deferring love that circulates through the heart of the Trinity. The Father bestows all that he has on the Son and the Son fully reflects the beauty and splendor of the Father, while the bond of love between Father and Son is the Holy Spirit. The God of self-giving love was revealed to us by Christ, who, in becoming one of us, “took the condition of a slave,” assumed the burden of our sins, washed the feet of his Apostles, died upon the cross to save us. Christ is the revelation of the Father’s love, a self-deferential love, a self-giving love, that flies in the face of our all-too-human tendencies of disordered self-love.

Opening our hearts to Christ, we pass from self-referential love to self-deferential love. No longer putting limits on God’s love for us, we are freed from the heavy yoke of inordinate self-love, free to take on the gentle yoke of Christ, free to embrace the Truth that sets us free, free “to defer to one another out of love for Christ,” free to serve, free to evangelize. Together, let us make this journey!

Read More Commentary

Yellow and white cloth hangs over the doors of Cathedral of Mary Our Queen in honor of the papal election

Who is our new pope, Pope Leo XIV?

Question Corner: Without a pope, how do we fulfill the indulgence requirement of praying for the pope’s intentions?

Masses of mourning or papal auditions?

Two yellow roses bloom on a rose bush full of green leaves

A Grandmother’s Roses

Our heart of darkness

St. Carlo and timing

Copyright © 2023 Catholic Review Media

Print Print

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

Primary Sidebar

Archbishop William E. Lori

View all posts from this author

| Recent Commentary |

Yellow and white cloth hangs over the doors of Cathedral of Mary Our Queen in honor of the papal election

Who is our new pope, Pope Leo XIV?

Question Corner: Without a pope, how do we fulfill the indulgence requirement of praying for the pope’s intentions?

Masses of mourning or papal auditions?

Two yellow roses bloom on a rose bush full of green leaves

A Grandmother’s Roses

Our heart of darkness

| Recent Local News |

Immaculate Conception School students ‘elect’ pope in their own ‘conclave’

Baltimore-area Catholics pray for new pope, express excitement for his leadership

Archbishop Lori surprised, heartened by selection of American pope

Missionary discipleship sees growth after Seek the City initiative

Knights of Columbus honored for pro-life support

| Catholic Review Radio |

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Real Life. Real Faith. 

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • Pope Leo prays for vocations, for peace and for mothers on Mother’s Day
  • Pope Leo: A pope is nothing more than a humble servant
  • Immaculate Conception School students ‘elect’ pope in their own ‘conclave’
  • French town near city with papal history to mark 100 years since Martyrs of Orange beatification
  • Pilgrim Passport to 3 Wisconsin Marian shrines help faithful mark their Jubilee journey
  • Who is our new pope, Pope Leo XIV?
  • Pope Leo to inaugurate his papacy May 18; a look at his May calendar
  • Report: Some House GOP members object to removing Planned Parenthood funds from Trump bill
  • Movie Review: ‘Another Simple Favor’

Search

Membership

Catholic Media Assocation

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2025 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED