‘Self-deferential love’ June 22, 2023By Archbishop William E. Lori Catholic Review Filed Under: Commentary, From the Archbishop To be self-referential is to arrange the world around oneself, as far as possible, according to one’s preferences and plans, without regard for the consequences of our choices on others, especially loved ones and co-workers. This tendency takes many forms, for example, the cult of celebrities whose every utterance, they believe, should command our undivided attention. It is found among those who amass wealth with little concern for the poor. Associating only with those whom we like or those with whom we agree is yet another way of being self-referential, to say nothing of the self-absorption induced by hours of staring at the screens of mobile devices. Self-referentiality all too easily creeps into the Church’s life. Sometimes it takes the form of “clericalism,” a tendency on the part of clergy to regard themselves as privileged, a tendency to shelter themselves to the extent possible from the demands of ministry and the needs of people. But such tendencies can affect anyone involved in the Church’s life, for example, when decisions are made for the convenience and security of the decision-makers and not for the good of the mission. Or when complacency dampens initiative. Or when people cling to their responsibilities in the Church’s life so tenaciously that they discourage other members of the Church from participating. Elitism is another form of self-absorption, a tendency of individuals and communities to regard themselves as more enlightened than the rest of the Church. Even holiness can be pursued as a private concern, with a sole focus on one’s salvation. What is the antidote? Like his predecessors, Pope Francis continually proclaims that the cure for all forms of self-referentiality is a continual and authentic encounter with the person of Christ. Christ is powerfully present in the Church’s life and is never far away from any of us. He loves us unconditionally, but we often love conditionally, placing limits on our response to his infinite love and mercy. Are we willing to risk opening our hearts to Christ in the power of the Holy Spirit? Will we allow Christ to transform our hearts? When we open our hearts to Christ, we enter into the mystery of God’s life. In Christ, who is one with the Father in the bond of the Holy Spirit, we discover the self-giving, self-deferring love that circulates through the heart of the Trinity. The Father bestows all that he has on the Son and the Son fully reflects the beauty and splendor of the Father, while the bond of love between Father and Son is the Holy Spirit. The God of self-giving love was revealed to us by Christ, who, in becoming one of us, “took the condition of a slave,” assumed the burden of our sins, washed the feet of his Apostles, died upon the cross to save us. Christ is the revelation of the Father’s love, a self-deferential love, a self-giving love, that flies in the face of our all-too-human tendencies of disordered self-love. Opening our hearts to Christ, we pass from self-referential love to self-deferential love. No longer putting limits on God’s love for us, we are freed from the heavy yoke of inordinate self-love, free to take on the gentle yoke of Christ, free to embrace the Truth that sets us free, free “to defer to one another out of love for Christ,” free to serve, free to evangelize. Together, let us make this journey! Read More Commentary Christmas silence Why I’m spending Christmas in Bethlehem this year Opening up bricked-in doors Getting adult children to Christmas Mass A eucharistic Word: Christmas Up on the Housetop Copyright © 2023 Catholic Review Media Print
