• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Bishop Robert Barron
          • George Weigel
          • Question Corner
          • Effie Caldarola
          • John Garvey
          • Father Ed Dougherty, M.M.
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Suzanna Molino Singleton
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Paul McMullen
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Father T. Austin Murphy Jr.
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
  • Advertising
  • CR Radio
  • Printing
  • Subscribe
Paul McMullen’s gratitude this spring includes witnessing ospreys nesting near his home in eastern Baltimore County. (Courtesy Jack Peters)

Solitude and solace

Paul McMullen June 6, 2018
By Paul McMullen
Filed Under: Amen, Amen McMullen Commentary, Commentary, Local News

A private room wasn’t private enough.

Faced with the prospect of a fourth consecutive sleepless night, I shooed my wife and a good friend from my hospital room on the afternoon of Easter Monday and attempted to find some rest.

That was par for my course. Sharing a childhood bedroom with four older brothers is among the reasons I prefer solitude, be it with a keyboard, on a run or plopping my beach chair as far from others as possible.

Eyes shut in vain, my racing mind quickly concluded: What am I doing, by myself?

A Good Friday heart attack had led to the recommendation of open-heart surgery, a quadruple bypass to be performed two mornings after Easter. Scrutinizing a waiver requiring my signature, my eyes had lingered on a possible side effect: Death.

Solitude, be gone. Mary was summoned, to discuss weighty issues, specifically our faith, hope and love.

She scribbled as I recited my prayer routine, for sharing when my time does come. Its inspirations include the Gospel of Matthew, St. Francis of Assisi and a singer-songwriter from north Texas. Gratitude is plainly stated. Patience is alluded to, twice. Mary was charged with enforcing my request for no visitors to Union Memorial Hospital other than her and our son, Don – and twice the Holy Spirit deemed otherwise.

For years I’ve voiced a running alibi, that God withheld my patience to give a double dose to my younger sister, Sue. Twenty hours from surgery, I told Mary, “Man, I’d like to see her.” With that, Sue’s face popped around a curtain.

The day after surgery, relief was fogged in by post-op pain, which had me longing aloud for a “guy in a collar.” On cue, in walked Father Jack Lombardi after a 100-mile drive from Hancock. It was like September 2015 again, when his presence and words, when necessary, regularly lessened my anxiety and blood pressure on our weeklong walk to Philadelphia to see Pope Francis.

The view from Paul McMullen’s window shows Sue Creek. (Paul McMullen/CR Staff)

Mine was an unforgettable Easter season. Ospreys nesting on Sue Creek and a fox hopping a fence left me misty, as did certain song lyrics, the Boston Marathon and my umpteenth viewings of “Babe” the pig and Kurt Russell’s portrayal of Olympic ice hockey coach Herb Brooks in “Miracle.”

My gratitude is keener than ever. Patience remains elusive, particularly when I don’t ask for help.

Assistance is found in homilies. On successive Sunday mornings, my ears were open: first on the Feast of the Ascension, to Jesus’ message to the Apostles to shed their old ways and embrace a new reality; and then a week later to another of my parish priests, who paraphrased the “fruit of the Spirit” in Galatians 5:16-25 to include patience.

That was on Pentecost, when Acts 2:1-11 describes “all filled with the Holy Spirit” and “we hear them speaking in our own tongues of the mighty acts of God.”

The previous day, Mary and I enjoyed an annual ritual, a Preakness party where some connections date to the 1960s. The anticipation peaked a few minutes before post-time, as two dozen people talked over one another, telling old stories about our salad days and new ones about our grandchildren. It was deafening, and delightful. I reclined in a corner of the living room, opened the voice memo app on my phone and preserved the ecstasy and love being shared.

I also got misty again.

Print Print

Primary Sidebar

Paul McMullen

Paul McMullen

Paul McMullen has served as the managing editor of the Catholic Review since 2008.

The author of two books, Paul has been involved in local media since age 12, when he began delivering The News American to 80 homes in his neighborhood. He began his journalism career with the Capital-Gazette Newspapers in Anne Arundel County, and spent more than 25 years as a sports writer for The Sun in Baltimore. His favorite writing assignments have included the Summer Olympics in Australia and Greece, the Archdiocese of Baltimore's response to the 2010 earthquake in Haiti, and “Feet for Francis,” a 2015 walking pilgrimage from the Baltimore Basilica to Philadelphia to see Pope Francis.

View all posts from this author

For the latest news delivered twice a week via email or text message, sign up to receive our free enewsletter.

Latest Local News

Deacon Davis, who served Overlea parish for decades, dies at 84

Archdiocese of Baltimore plans ‘Safe Haven Sunday’ to fight pornography

Pasadena parish cites pandemic in decision to close preschool

Father Snouffer, information technology trailblazer for archdiocese, dies at 83

‘Blessing bags’ a focal point for merged St. Casimir Parish during pandemic

Latest World News

Health care chaplains in Baltimore and beyond embrace self-care in COVID-19 work

Religious order withdraws request to transfer founder’s remains to U.S.

Heroes of love: New pathway open for future saints

Bishops: If passed, Equality Act will ‘discriminate against people of faith

Cardinal prays on CNN program marking 500,000 COVID-19 deaths in U.S.

Catholic Review Radio

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • A Lent full of promise, steak success, cooking with children, and more (7 Quick Takes)
  • Archbishop Lori reflects on the Year of St. Joseph
  • Health care chaplains in Baltimore and beyond embrace self-care in COVID-19 work
  • Religious order withdraws request to transfer founder’s remains to U.S.
  • Deacon Davis, who served Overlea parish for decades, dies at 84
  • Reason for celibacy/ Blessing for non-sacramental marriage?
  • Archdiocese of Baltimore plans ‘Safe Haven Sunday’ to fight pornography
  • Heroes of love: New pathway open for future saints
  • Some English Catholics object to transfer of nun’s remains to Philadelphia
  • Bishops: If passed, Equality Act will ‘discriminate against people of faith

Search

Membership

Catholic Press Association of the United States and Canada

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2021 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED