• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
        • Sports News
        • Official Clergy Assignments
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Question Corner
          • George Weigel
          • Effie Caldarola
          • John Garvey
          • Father Ed Dougherty, M.M.
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie & Television Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
        • Recipes
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
  • Advertising
  • CR Radio
  • Printing
  • News Tips
  • Subscribe

We don’t talk about COVID

January 15, 2022
By Rita Buettner
Catholic Review
Filed Under: Blog, Commentary

We don’t talk about COVID. No, no, no. I’m so tired of hearing about positivity rates and hospitalization rates and vaccination rates and…

What’s that? You know where we can find home tests? What time does the shipment come in? And they put them right out on the shelves?

Wow! Hang on, I need to text my friend who’s been looking for one. And maybe I should get a few more just in case. I don’t know how many we are going to need.

But yeah, let’s not talk about COVID. I’m just so happy the children are back in school. I just can’t decide whether they should be wearing KN95s right now. They’re so much more comfortable in the other masks, and they’re in them all day, except at lunchtime. I don’t know what they do for gym class. I’ve never thought to ask. That’s the last thing we want to talk about at night. We’re so busy listing all the teachers and students who were out sick today.

Who wants to talk about COVID? There’s too much else going on, especially now that the world has opened back up. Did you see your family for Christmas? Oh, yeah, we didn’t either because…you know. But maybe we can be together for Easter.

It seems like everyone is sick right now. Of course, no one can get a PCR test, and who knows if those home tests are even reliable. What’s that? You got tested where? And you were only in line for 45 minutes? Wow! Did you have to register in advance? Do they take insurance?

Hold on, I need to text my friend who’s been trying to get her husband tested for three days. He’s so sick, but the home test is not showing anything. You know, if you don’t go for testing when the viral load is high enough, you might not get an accurate reading.

What’s that? You think the viral load is higher later? Where did you read that? Because my friend’s sister’s mother-in-law told her that they’re changing the guidelines on isolation because we’ve been guessing wrong on testing times…or was it testing at all? I can’t remember. I try not to talk much about COVID.

Hang on, I have to show you the funniest TikTok. It had us in hysterics last night, talking all about CDC guidelines. Let me pull it up on my phone.

Wait a second, did you hear that man over there cough? I mean, that really sounded like a COVID cough, and, you know, they say with omicron it’s that kind of cough, way up in your throat just like that. And his mask is barely touching his nose.

Wow, I love your glasses. Are they new? Do they fog up when you walk into the store with a mask on? Mine are the worst.

OK, let’s talk about something else. I never should have brought up COVID!

With apologies to We Don’t Talk About Bruno from Encanto.

Copyright © 2022 Catholic Review Media

Print Print

Primary Sidebar

Rita Buettner

Rita Buettner is a wife, working mother and author of the Catholic Review's Open Window blog. She and her husband adopted their two sons from China, and Rita often writes about topics concerning adoption, family and faith.

Rita also writes The Domestic Church, a featured column in the Catholic Review. Her writing has been honored by the Catholic Press Association, the Maryland-Delaware-D.C. Press Association and the Associated Church Press.

View all posts from this author

Recent Commentary

Finding solace in faith after shootings provide another reminder of horrific day

A lost tortoise comes home

Yard sales, a B2 Spirit bomber, and a backyard scavenger hunt (7 Quick Takes)

CCC collection supports local, global Catholic media and communications

When St. Bernadette’s relics came to Baltimore

Recent Local News

Close of Year of the Eucharist will be celebrated at Cathedral of Mary Our Queen

Baltimore native to be ordained Jesuit priest

Sulpicians elect Father Daniel Moore as provincial superior

Former St. Rita School teacher dies

Archdiocese of Baltimore ordains 9 transitional deacons

Catholic Review Radio

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • Close of Year of the Eucharist will be celebrated at Cathedral of Mary Our Queen
  • MOVIE REVIEW: Top Gun: Maverick
  • MOVIE REVIEW: The Bob’s Burgers Movie
  • Church presence in Uvalde, Texas, gives strength, love, archbishop says
  • Mary, Star of the Sea, protects mariners and is guide for all, bishop says
  • Bishops push gun control; some call mass shootings ‘pressing life issue’
  • Baltimore native to be ordained Jesuit priest
  • Sulpicians elect Father Daniel Moore as provincial superior
  • Finding solace in faith after shootings provide another reminder of horrific day

Search

Membership

Catholic Press Association of the United States and Canada

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2022 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED