The last time I spoke with Elizabeth Ann Murphy was after the 2023 death of John Merzbacher, the fiendish former lay teacher at Catholic Community School in South Baltimore who had repeatedly raped her and other students in the 1970s.
Liz had long forgiven Merzbacher for his horrific crimes. I knew that from past conversations when she told me she prayed for her tormentor daily. Still, I hesitated to ask her where she found the strength to forgive – especially now that he was gone, facing an eternal accounting for his actions. Part of me feared reopening wounds.
She paused. Then, in a slow, deliberate cadence, she answered.
“We know what our Lord calls us to – and it isn’t easy,” she said, her voice cracking through the phone. “It’s not something Liz does. It is the grace of God that allows me to do this. Because the love and power of God transcend all things, even this.”
It was one of the most extraordinary statements I’d heard in nearly three decades at the Catholic Review. But that was Liz – extraordinary in faith and resilience. She endured unfathomable horrors, fought relentlessly for justice, and held onto her faith, even when she felt the church had failed her.
I first met Liz 15 years ago when she invited me into her home to share her story. Over the years, we spoke by phone several times and exchanged emails. Our last in-person meeting was two years ago, on her 62nd birthday in her home, discussing the Maryland State Attorney General’s report on child abuse in the Archdiocese of Baltimore. On that day, as always, she was direct and unwavering.
“I have done a lot of interviews over the past almost 30 years now, and none are as important to me as this one – none,” she said, her searing, ice-blue eyes locking onto mine. “Because this is where I’m going to speak to the Catholic faithful. Because that’s where a lot of my pain has come from.”
Liz spoke of the agony inflicted by fellow Catholics who accused her of making up her abuse or seeking financial gain. She couldn’t understand why some in the pews refused to hear survivors.
While she acknowledged the Archdiocese of Baltimore had more recent policies in place to protect children, she was frustrated by what she saw as the church’s tendency to focus on progress rather than the lasting pain of survivors.
“I wish I could forget the repeated rape and abuse I suffered as an 11-, 12-, and 13-year-old at the hands of a Catholic schoolteacher,” she said. “I truly do, but this trauma lives in the very cells of my body. This trauma continues to be triggered and intrudes in my life, uninvited.”
A lifelong Catholic who grew up at St. Mary, Star of the Sea in South Baltimore, Liz insisted survivors should not be blamed for any financial hardships the church might face because of lawsuits. Victim-survivors had the right to seek justice, she said.
She credited therapy paid for by the archdiocese with helping her and was especially grateful for her friendship with Auxiliary Bishop Adam J. Parker. But she also knew healing wasn’t linear. Some days brought progress; others, unbearable regression.
Liz died Feb. 26 of cancer, surrounded by family and friends. At her funeral at St. Francis Xavier in Hunt Valley, Bishop Parker spoke of her love for her family and her powerful witness to forgiveness.
“She always wanted change,” he said. “She wanted things to be done in the right way. She wanted justice. And she wanted that most especially in her church.”
He recalled telling Liz how difficult it could be to know the right thing to do at any given moment.
“And she just said, ‘You’ll know the right thing to do if you stay close to your mother, your Blessed Mother,’” he said, adding that Liz encouraged him to let the Holy Spirit lead him.
Liz gave her life to ensuring the truth was heard, no matter how painful it was to speak. Let’s pray her witness won’t be forgotten.
Email George Matysek at gmatysek@CatholicReview.org
Also see:
Abuse survivor reflects on John Merzbacher’s death (May 15, 2023)
Believe us: Survivors express anger, hope following release of attorney general’s report (May 1, 2023)
Faith sustains Merzbacher abuse survivor (Aug. 19, 2010)
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