A lesson in trust (and a prayer for a new driver)

Before you become a parent, you don’t realize all the lessons you will teach—how to blow your nose, how to eat a taco, how to share a toy with your brother, how to put your dishes in the sink.

These days I’m circling parking lots, teaching my son how to drive.

Before he even turned the key for the first time, I talked him through all the pedals, levers, and the lights on the dashboard. I explained how to adjust the mirrors. I tried to give him lots of advice.

But, of course, you don’t learn to drive from listening to your mom talk. So, I told him to put the car into drive and take his foot off the brake. And the car started to move.

Letting your child drive your car is exciting and terrifying. And I found myself thinking about how often God asks us to place our trust not just in him, but in others.

Trusting those around you is easier in theory than in practice. But I can see that God wants me to believe in this teen driver at my side. After all, letting him drive is the only way he can learn and grow. And helping him learn and grow is part of my job as his mother.

So, I need to set aside anxiety and choose faith. I need to believe that everything will turn out OK. I need to put the keys in my son’s hand and put the situation in God’s and give up control.

It’s not easy. I’d rather not. But it’s the only way.

Parents of teens already know this. Truly, all parents know.

We’ve sent children off to school when they seemed too tiny to go.

We’ve let them climb and take on new challenges when we weren’t sure they were prepared.

We’ve watched them fail, and we’ve watched them succeed.

We’ve seen how they come into their own.

Sometimes they do things differently than we want them to, and it doesn’t end well. Sometimes they do things better than we expect. It’s not always easy to let them grow up and away, but it’s part of the gift of parenting.

So, my son and I circle the parking lot together. I try to be as calm as I can be, listening more than critiquing, asking him to describe what he sees rather than telling him what I see. Some days I do better than others.

I glance at him in the driver’s seat and marvel at how quickly time is flying. I’m so very proud of the person he is becoming. He has a bit to learn—and so do I, as I always do at every new stage. What a gift to be learning alongside him.

~
A Prayer for a New Driver

God, keep this driver safe on the roads.
Help them to be focused and alert,
Always remembering that they share the road with others.
May they drive with compassion and care,
And only encounter others who do the same.
Wherever they go, may they travel with peace and love
And know that you are with them at every turn.
Amen.

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