Choosing civility: Schools promote kindness, peace and understanding 

We see it on television, hear it on talk radio and read it on social media: statements that sow division rather than build relationships or promote understanding. 

But a growing movement in archdiocesan-area Catholic schools is bucking that trend. A standout example is Immaculate Heart of Mary School in Baynesville, where students embraced the “Holy Moments” program launched by Dynamic Catholic as a pilot in the 2023-24 school year. 

Chosen as one of just 100 schools nationwide – and the only one in the archdiocese – IHM immersed itself in the program. Principal Sue Surine, a member of the IHM parish, explained the core idea: “How can you make this a holy moment, day or week?” To support that, the school distributed Matthew Kelly’s book “Holy Moments” to all families and staff and conducted a book study. 

“If you came in and asked the kids, they’d say it’s about moments, decision-making and choices,” Surine said. “Civility is always a goal but as a Catholic school it adds a faith element.” 

The pilot program was such a success that Surine reached out to Dynamic Catholic to see about extending the program. The organization had no plans to extend it, so the school came up with plans for year two. The 2025-26 school year will be the program’s third year at IHM. 

Each year has a theme – last year’s was “Giving Thanks in All Circumstances” – with monthly focus areas and weekly prompts during morning prayer. For example, a gratitude theme included prompts such as thanking a teacher or naming three things you’re grateful for. A month on honesty encouraged students to admit mistakes and respect authority. 

Students and teachers who consistently make “holy moments” choices receive special T-shirts to wear on designated days. “It’s not competitive and they are given out sparingly,” Surine said. When a student is recognized, peers gather for a photo. “They’re very supportive.” 

Students have embraced the initiative. Rising eighth graders Lou, Rose and Frank Kopera said it encourages regular kindness. “I notice when I’m not being kind more often,” Rose said. The program helps unite the community, Lou added. Ultimately, said Frank, “It’s saying that you have a choice between right or wrong for any problems or situations or questions that come up in your life.” 

IHM isn’t alone in promoting kindness and civility. At Cardinal Shehan School in Baltimore, the guiding word is “peace,” said principal Barney Wilson. The pre-K–8 school even has its own peace prayer. Affirmation posters around the school reinforce the message. “Students learn to love and respect one another as they work and play together,” Wilson said. 

Mount de Sales Academy in Catonsville also adopts a yearly theme to promote civility, said Theresa Greene, vice principal of student affairs. The all-girls Catholic high school hosts a cultural arts festival where students explore diverse backgrounds. Each month at Mass, the school presents an “anchor” pin to a student from each grade “who has demonstrated great kindness, leadership or generosity,” Greene said.  

Everyday civility 

• Pause and  choose kindness 
• Every moment is a choice – make it a holy one. 
• Act beyond self-interest 
• True civility means putting others first. 
• Listen to understand 
• Give others your full attention, not just your reply. 
• Stay curious, not combative 
• Seek to understand, even when you disagree. 

Source: Inspired by Matthew Kelly’s “Holy Moments” 

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