On the eve of forever

Seventeen years ago today, I couldn’t wait to get married.

When I met John at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen for our wedding rehearsal that Friday evening, I remember being tired but happy and excited.

I had spent the day setting place cards and arranging vases of hydrangea at our reception site—while my friend Sarah constructed and designed our wedding cake in the kitchen.

My mother and sisters and I had been up tying ribbons for the programs and doing a hundred other tiny tasks that came together at the last minute.

As we stood in the Cathedral, I’m sure there were still details to figure out, but none of them had to do with what really mattered. I was so, so excited to marry John. There are moments in life when you know you are making the right decision—the only and best decision—and that was one for me.

The path forward was clear. I was ready to become John’s wife. As we practiced our vows in the Cathedral, I felt completely at peace.

I imagine most brides and grooms feel that way on the eve of their wedding day. I felt ready to love John forever, and I knew he loved me. We never expected every minute of our marriage would be absolute bliss, but we knew we would be together. I felt such gratitude and excitement and awe that God had brought us to that moment—and I was excited to see what lay ahead.

You never know what life will hold, but there’s nothing like the optimism of that start. Saying yes to forever requires an amazing leap of love. Living that yes every day requires an even deeper, truer love.

I’m always glad people don’t ask me for marriage advice, because I don’t know a thing about marriage. I only know about being married to John, who is such a perfect match for me. He loves me as I am, and he gives of himself to me and our children in countless ways.

Today, 17 years later, I look back and marvel at this journey John and I are on together. We have dealt with loss and challenges. We’ve also had times full of such joy. We have two extraordinary sons and all the wonders that come with being a family created through adoption. And we get to wake up and begin every day again—no matter how hectic or scattered the day might be—together.

Not every day is easy. Not every path is as clear as the one we started down 17 years ago. But I am grateful for every day together. This is just how I hoped to spend forever.

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