The Mom Friends You Need

Before becoming a mother, I had no idea how important my relationships with other mothers would be. You can’t do motherhood, it turns out, without a network of fellow moms. Or maybe you can—but I wouldn’t recommend it.

You almost have to have your own presidential cabinet of moms. Get the right support in your corner, and you’re set.

If you are just starting your motherhood journey, here is the group I would be looking for:

1. School Expert Mom: Find the mom who reads every school email and flyer. She knows all the professional days and early dismissals. She knows when parent-teacher conferences are. She has the field trips on her calendar and can tell you where the kids are going and what day you have to get the payment in. She never forgets Tropical Shirt Day—and she doesn’t want you to forget either. Keep her close.
2. Extracurricular Pro Mom: This is the mom who knows the little league schedule and which field is which. If NASA strapped her into a spaceship, she would be ready with wipes and hand sanitizer and Uncrustables in two flavors. She can also tell you how to find a great piano teacher or local dance class—and her husband is probably the soccer coach.
3. Guardian Angel Mom: This mom drops muffins or wine or chicken noodle soup on your porch when everyone is sick or struggling. She is some kind of superhero.
4. Mom with Older Kids: This is the mom who gives you the trailer for the next chapter in motherhood. She doesn’t say unhelpful things like, “Cherish the moment” or “Just wait until.…” Instead, she gives a helpful glimpse into the future so you are better prepared when you blink and have a middle schooler…and then a high schooler…and then a college student. She’s the John the Baptist of motherhood.
5. Medical Expert Mom: You need that person who can assess a rash, weigh in on when you need to see the pediatrician, and hear all the symptoms without wincing. You have no idea how much you wish you had medical knowledge until you become a mother yourself. It’s OK not to have any knowledge yourself, but you will never regret having a friend who’s a nurse.
6. Mom Who Takes Prayer Requests: This mom is often also in the other categories too. But she is ready for the prayer requests—academic, social, medical, and more.
7. Mom with a Limitless Sense of Humor: This is the mom who needs to be one of your top texting contacts. She can laugh with you about anything—the forgotten science fair diorama, the spirit week requirements at school, and the homework assignment to make a soda bottle look like Mother Teresa. She’s the one who somehow manages to find WiFi while camping in the wilderness with a group of children so she can send a photo of a taxidermied possum. We all need this friend. Ideally, you have several with this sense of humor and they’re all on one hilarious text chain.

I’m so grateful for all the people on my team, and I hope you have some great ones on yours. Motherhood can be rewarding and challenging and humbling and joyful—often all in the same moment. What a gift it is.

And, whatever comes your way, how wonderful to know you aren’t alone. You’ve got this. We’ve got this. If we all close our eyes and make a wish, we might even make it to the end of the school year. And we’ll get there together.

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