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A painting of Mary Undoer of Knots from Mary's point of view by Deacon Elmer Herrera-Guzman, a fourth-year theology student, is seen in his room at Theological College in Washington Oct. 25, 2019. (CNS photo/Bob Roller)

Undoer of Knots

August 10, 2020
By Robyn Barberry
Catholic Review
Filed Under: Blog, Commentary, Unconditional

I was sitting on my bed, battling a headache while I prodded my planner, trying to figure out who could watch three quarters of my kids while I took one (at-a-time) to the dentist and doctor for check-ups. Normally I would take them all, but the coronavirus pandemic has made traveling in our pack out-of-the-question. Suddenly, all those logic puzzles my grandfather used to make me do are paying off.

As I erased another faulty mark in my planner, Teagan, my four-year-old, entered the room, her finger trapped in her hair in a knot the size of a grape. Her “twirling” habit started as soon as she discovered her hair and happens when she’s bored, anxious or tired. It was close to bedtime and she was crying due to sleepiness and, of course, her trapped finger. “I can help you,” I said. I sat her on my lap and reached over for her detangler and brush.

As I sprayed and tugged, the knot grew tighter and the screams grew louder. I stopped and looked very closely at the knot to see how it was formed. I realized that brushing it was making it worse and got a baby fork from the kitchen. I focused all of my attention on pulling out the tangled hairs, a few strands at a time and soon, Teagan was calm and the knot was gone.

While I was freeing Teagan’s finger from her hair, I forgot about my own web of COVID-era childcare woes. Detangling hair is an almost meditative practice, like reverse crochet. It especially helps if it’s someone else’s. Sometimes we need to take a break from our own problems by helping someone else solve theirs. It also helps to know that someone else can help us unravel our frustrations, be it a spouse, a boss, a kind stranger or even the Blessed Virgin Mary, who is known as the “Undoer of Knots.” 

If you feel entangled by the problems in your life, consider saying this prayer (courtesy Pray More Novenas):

Virgin Mary, Mother of fair love, Mother who never refuses to come to the aid of a child in need, Mother whose hands never cease to serve your beloved children because they are moved by the divine love and immense mercy that exist in your heart, cast your compassionate eyes upon me and see the snarl of knots that exists in my life. You know very well how desperate I am, my pain, and how I am bound by these knots. Mary, Mother to whom God entrusted the undoing of the knots in the lives of his children, I entrust into your hands the ribbon of my life. No one, not even the evil one himself, can take it away from your precious care. In your hands there is no knot that cannot be undone. Powerful Mother, by your grace and intercessory power with Your Son and My Liberator, Jesus, take into your hands today this knot.

Just as mothers like me untangle their children’s knots, Mary, mother to us all, is always willing to help us with ours. Sometimes we just need to take a hands-off approach because she can see what’s gotten us tied up. She has the tools and the patience it takes for us to be free again.   

Copyright © 2020 Catholic Review Media

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