Dinners build camaraderie for parishioners in Western Maryland

HAGERSTOWN – As an appetizer of roasted Brussel sprouts with goat cheese and pecans was shared around the table, conversation flowed easily between the group of seven seated at Hoffman’s All American Grill in Hagerstown April 23. Talk of recent storm damage and family Easter celebrations flowed effortlessly, only interrupted when the waitress came to take orders and serve food.

“Generally, we don’t talk church or politics,” Darby Smith said of the monthly Parishioners Night Out dinners. The exception, his wife Sue Smith pointed out, is something big, such as the pope’s death. Otherwise, the night just “doesn’t lend itself to that,” Darby said.

Though all the diners are members of the Catholic Parishes of South Washington County – a pastorate that includes St. Joseph in Hagerstown, St. Augustine in Williamsport and St. James in Boonsboro – this steadfast rule has played a key role in maintaining the group’s cohesion and longevity.

Darby Smith and his wife Sue, parishioners of St. Joseph, have been attending the monthly dinners for 11 years; Stephanie and Mark Boruta, parishioners of St. James, for five years; and for Gloria Bastian, a parishioner of St. Joseph, it was only her third or fourth dinner with the group.

“I wanted to do this for a long time but had no way to get here,” Bastain said. She is thankful she found “this lovely couple” – the Smiths – who are willing to drive.

“I’m the newbie,” Bastain said. “I’m enjoying it.”

Edith Altshuler, a parishioner of St. Augustine and St. Joseph, has been coordinating the dinners for several years after she was asked by the former ladies in charge to take over.

“I don’t know how it got started,” Altshuler said. “It is good socializing.”

The Night Out dinners are always held on the third Wednesday of the month at 5:30 p.m. (though Holy Week kept the group from meeting April 16). The restaurant is selected the month before and people either email, call or tell Altshuler at church that they will be attending so she can make reservations.

“I wish more people would come,” Altshuler said.

Typically, dinners attract an older crowd. The group April 23 included regulars and were all retired. Altshuler noted that the dinners have had as few as two people attending to as many as 15.

“Most of the restaurants are pretty good about pulling up another table,” Stepahine Boruta said, as not everyone RSVPs and the group doesn’t turn anyone away.

“Any chance to party,” Mark Boruta said with a chuckle. He and his wife first attended a dinner to meet people after moving from Southern Maryland. They enjoy the camaraderie and getting to know the area.

“I grew up in Montgomery County and Hagerstown was the boondocks,” Stephanie Boruta said. “We’ve checked out different restaurants, newer restaurants and ones you wouldn’t think of going to.”

The group makes it a point to try different restaurants and cuisines where everyone orders off the menu and covers their own tab. The one constant is Schmankerl Stube Bavarian Restaurant in Hagerstown every October..

“It’s Oktoberfest,” Sue Miller said, matter-of-factly. “They are an authentic German restaurant.”

While they prefer local restaurants, they visit chain restaurants, too. The group recalled a time when one participant went to the wrong Outback restaurant.

“He wanted to know why nobody showed up,” Mark Boruta said with a laugh.

While priests and deacons have attended the Night’s Out in the past, the conversation seemed to always turn toward church, the group said.. 

“They would be peppered with questions,” Darby Smith said. “They couldn’t have an enjoyable meal.”

A typical night out lasts about two hours, as participants tend to linger and talk after dinner. There is also a Parishioners Lunch group, which meets on the second Wednesday of the month at noon and operates like the Parishioners Night Out group. Those outings typically last about an hour and a half, according to Mark Boruta, who attends with his wife.

“If you go to one of the three churches and are new to the area, this would be the best way to know people,” Stephanie Boruta said of the dinners and lunches. “Church meetings are not the same as night outs. It’s a great way to meet people.”

Email Katie V. Jones at kjones@CatholicReview.org

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