When we adopted our second son as a toddler, I couldn’t figure out how to cook dinner.
Whenever I went to the kitchen to try to start chopping and stirring and sautéing, our little boy got upset. He didn’t want to wait to eat. He could see and smell – and practically taste – the food I was making. He was too young to understand that within 20 or 30 minutes the meal would be served, and I couldn’t explain that to him. He thought the kitchen was full of food ready to be enjoyed and that his mother was refusing to share it.
For weeks I struggled to figure out what to do. Mothers know there’s a cardinal rule: No snacking before dinner. You must never, ever break that rule.
But one day as everyone fell apart emotionally and dinner was still far from done, I gave up. I put the boys in their booster seats and handed them each a popsicle. While I cooked, they licked their way through their unexpected frozen afternoon treats.
It was pleasant and peaceful and practically perfect. I made dinner in relative peace. When dinner was ready, I served a meal, and the children ate it.
Lesson learned: I could serve popsicles before dinner, and dinner would still get eaten. Everyone would be happy.
Feeding children popsicles at 5 p.m. might not seem to be the best parenting move. But if it relieves your stress as a mother, keeps the children content at one of the most difficult times of the day, and allows you to cook without a crying child trying to climb your leg to get to the chicken stir fry, it’s best – and even safest – for everyone.
You could argue that children learn life lessons better by watching the food being prepared every day and waiting for it to arrive on their plates. There is certainly something to be said for delayed gratification. But I have come to see that there are times when the best parenting move is the one that is best for the parent.
Besides, life is short, and everyone enjoys an occasional treat – a snowball on a hot summer day, a car ride with Grandpa, or skipping a few hours of school to get Brooks Robinson’s autograph.
Parents have rules for good reason. But even though our main role is to guide our children to heaven, we also have the extraordinary role of helping our children enjoy this beautiful life here on earth. After all, God wants each of us to be happy.
This journey through life isn’t always easy. We encounter plenty of challenges and even crises along the way. We fail and fall short and rely on God’s forgiveness and mercy to begin another day. We lose people we love. We stumble and fall and pick ourselves up over and over again. But although we cannot yet taste the full joy of heaven, God doesn’t make us wait to experience happiness.
He sends us, his beloved children, signs of his love every single day. He gives us people to love and to love us. He gave us all the creatures of the earth and the stars in the sky and a planet full of limitless adventure. He gives each of us talents we can use to enjoy and bring happiness to others. He even sent us his only Son to teach us and show us how to live and to open the gates of heaven for us.
“People are made for happiness,” St. John Paul II said. “Rightly then, you thirst for happiness.”
Our Father loves us so completely that he doesn’t make us sit and wait unhappily for the real feast of heaven. He knows a much more complete love, a fuller joy lies ahead, but we can still enjoy happiness on earth – a taste of what’s to come. So, knowing a more beautiful world awaits us, go ahead. Enjoy a popsicle before dinner.
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