Q: I am baptized Catholic and was married in a Catholic church. Then I was divorced and remarried in a Methodist church. She is a baptized Methodist. Then she recently did RCIA [Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults] and joined the Catholic Church. How can I receive Communion again? What are the steps?
A: For complex marriage scenarios like the one you describe, there are many factors and specific nuances to take into account. Each case needs to be addressed individually. Therefore, it’s not that there is one set of steps to follow, as much as it is that there are different pathways to resolving this kind of complicated situation.
For some general background, we as Catholics do not believe that divorce is truly possible in a real sense. Of course a person might find themself civilly divorced for a variety of reasons, but the church would see a secular divorce decree as ultimately a sort of legal fiction. At the end of the day, while there might be civil effects like division of property or child custody arrangements that need to be honored, a divorced person would still be bound spiritually to their “ex” spouse in marriage.
Following this line of reasoning, a Catholic who divorces and then remarries civilly cannot have a valid second marriage, because they are still actually married to their original spouse. And while most divorced-and-civilly remarried Catholics would not subjectively view their own situation this way, living as husband and wife with a new person while still married to someone else is, technically “on paper,” living in adultery. Because this kind of adultery is by nature public and ongoing, a divorced and remarried Catholic cannot receive Communion. (See Canon 915 of the Code of Canon Law for reference.)
This can be a hard truth, but it is good to understand that this inability to receive Communion is part of a consistent theological rationale, as opposed to being something arbitrary.
One possible way forward in your situation is to approach a Catholic marriage tribunal to investigate whether your first marriage was valid in the first place. It is theoretically possible that there could have been some problem in your first marriage that was so serious, that it prevented a true marriage bond from actually being contracted. If that seems to be the case, the tribunal can begin the formal process for investigating your first marriage and possibly declaring it null, which would then leave you legitimately free to marry your current civil wife.
However — again, depending on a lot of specifics — the marriage nullity process can often take a year or longer. And since the church presumes that a marriage is valid until proven otherwise, there is no guarantee that you will be granted a declaration of nullity (popularly called an “annulment”) at the end of the process.
Another option, albeit a challenging one, for potentially returning to the sacrament more quickly is to resolve to live a chaste life as “brother and sister” (i.e., abstaining from marital relations). Depending on the local spiritual needs and the feasibility of avoiding scandal, parish pastors can allow divorced and civilly remarried Catholics who are committed to this kind of chastity to receive Communion again.
All that being said, one interesting wrinkle that you mention in your own situation is that your second, civil wife went through a formal process of initiation to enter the Catholic Church after your Methodist wedding. Usually, when a person seeks to become Catholic as an adult, there is some effort made to ensure that their marriage situation is fully in accord with church teaching. So it could even be that you are farther on your way to resolving this than you realize.
In any case, my advice would be to speak with your parish priest about your marriage and your desire to return to the Eucharist. A priest who knows you in real life would be best able to help discern your own most appropriate “next steps.”
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