The gift of a smile

If you knew Jeff Nattans, you must remember his smile. He was always pleasant, always upbeat, and always eager to connect with people around him.

I didn’t know Jeff personally, so when we talked in person, I never expected him to recall who I was. But whenever we connected, Jeff made me feel like I was just the person he wanted to see, the very person he was hoping to talk to at that moment. He was interested and engaged and curious in all the best ways. He generally didn’t really want to talk about himself, except to share his gratitude and enthusiasm for the people and organizations that had made an impact on his life.

Jeff, who passed away this week at 59, had that way of making you feel seen and valued. He was a great listener who led with kindness and humility. And he did it all with that warm, genuine smile.

Jeff was a trustee at Loyola University Maryland, where I work, but he was also a part of my world in other ways—through his role as a chairman of the Board of Trustees at Calvert Hall College High School, where I am a parent. He was also a trustee at Catholic Charities, which has such a tremendous impact on our community. My husband and I will always be grateful to Catholic Charities for their support as we were growing our family through adoption.

Even though I didn’t know Jeff as a friend, this loss has hit harder than I would have expected. I think that’s partly because it affects communities I care deeply about, and partly because I have always had a deep respect and admiration for Jeff.

I admired how he gave of himself, sharing his time and expertise in ways that had a far-reaching impact. He showed up and he contributed.

I admired how he lived out the values of the schools where he was educated, schools that are so close to my heart.

And I especially admired how he brought such care, humility, and focus to his conversations with others. I always walked away feeling that he was as grateful for our encounter as I was, even though I knew he had many other people to talk to, and many pressing concerns and interests to balance. It takes a special person to make people feel that valued in the midst of a busy day, but he always did.

When my son graduated from Calvert Hall at the Cathedral of Mary Our Queen, Jeff was there, processing with the faculty and administration as the chair of the Board of Trustees. He caught my attention that day because he was beaming as he walked up the aisle—and down it at the end. Even at the end of a long ceremony, when others might have been tired and ready for the day to end, Jeff was smiling broadly. The celebration of these young men was his celebration too. The pride the families felt in those pews was his pride as well. The joy he felt as the dozens of graduates followed him and the others down the aisle was visible on his face. I felt he was rejoicing with all of us—and I do think he was.

As we celebrate the feast day of Blessed Teresa of Kolkata, whom many of us recall as Mother Teresa, I found myself thinking of how she spoke about the impact of a smile.

“We shall never know all the good that a simple smile can do,” she said. How true that is.

What a gift a smile can be to others, especially when it reflects tremendous faith, deep love, and a desire to share in the joy of those around us. And what a gift Jeff’s smile was to so many who encountered him.

Please join me today in praying for Jeff, his family, and all those who love him.

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