It’s not everyday that a non-Catholic serves on a Catholic parish’s evangelization committee, but that’s exactly what happened before Nicole Kalinosky joined the Catholic faith. It was a journey of love and support, she said – a journey that helped her deepen her Christian beliefs.
Before becoming Catholic, Kalinosky sat alongside her husband at Mass for nearly 20 years.
“I went every week with him,” Kalinosky said of attending with her husband, Jim. “He always called me the ‘best practicing non-Catholic’ he ever knew.”
About 15 years into their time as parishioners of St. Stephen in Bradshaw, Kalinosky was asked to be part of a team to put on a dance for the parish.
“But I’m not Catholic,” was her initial response, met quickly with “that doesn’t matter” and “the more hands the better.”
Despite not being Catholic, she accepted and was welcomed by the evangelization committee, which she would go on to serve for two more years until entering the church in the spring of 2018.
“I came for the dance and just never went away,” Kalinosky said. “I think they appreciated somebody from the pew, a non-Catholic mindset.”
The evangelization committee welcomed Kalionsky’s perspective on how to involve members of the community that were not currently active.
“I think community is the name of the game, at least for me it was,” she said. “We have to be willing to open the door and make people feel like they belong wherever they are, even if they’re just visiting for one day. … Your smile might be the thing they need that day.”
Growing up, Kalinosky’s family was Methodist. She went to Sunday school, but her family rarely attended church. Conversion had been on Kalinosky’s heart since 1997, when she and Jim were married and regularly attended Mass with his family.
“I loved that feeling,” Kalinosky said. “I loved going as a family and being part of the community there.”
Living in central Pennsylvania, she started RCIA at their parish there in 1999, but her journey was cut short when Jim was offered a job in Baltimore. They soon settled in Joppatowne and after trying a couple churches, instantly felt that St. Stephen was home.
Finally, in the fall of 2017, a homily on love and community resonated with Kalinosky. After all those years, it was time to make a commitment to the church and community she loved.
She got home and called Franciscan Sister Angela DeFontes, who leads the Order of Christian Initiation for Adults (OCIA, formerly known as RCIA) at St. Stephen, and a fellow member of the evangelization committee. Kalinosky left Sister Angela a voice message. Sister Angela would later call Kalinosky to invite her to join the RCIA class – all before hearing that voice message.
“It took a really long time and then all of a sudden it came together,” Kalinosky said.
Ahead of the 2018 Easter Vigil, Kalinosky had a hard time picking a confirmation saint’s name. She told no one in advance, but when the time came, she chose “Rita” – the name of her mother-in-law, who had been a great influence and who had died in 2001 at the age of 56. Unbeknownst to Kalinosky, it was also the confirmation name of her sponsor, Jeannette Falbo.
Falbo was the first member of the evangelization committee who had reached out to Kalinosky.
Kalinosky was touched by how many people attended the Easter Vigil to show her support when she was received into the church. Her husband, Jim, remembers his wife brimming with excitement.
“It was almost surreal,” he said. “Like, ‘Wow I can’t believe we’ve finally gotten to this point.’”
After her confirmation, Kalinosky stayed in the evangelization committee until it changed from its original focus on events to a focus on pastoral care, which she said is not in her wheelhouse. She has also served on the parish council.
Kalinosky became an extraordinary minister of holy Communion very quickly after entering the church.
“The first time that I received the Eucharist, I felt different,” she said. “That might sound hokey to some people, but I felt a lightness and a peace that I hadn’t felt before. I love that I can be a eucharistic minister. I think part of me hopes that I’m giving that feeling to someone else.”
A promotion changed Kalinosky’s work schedule so she covers the West Coast, making joining committees difficult, as she works later into the evening. She remains active helping in any way she can, and the schedule change has an added benefit: the ability to take long morning walks over to Holy Spirit in Joppatowne to attend daily Mass.
Jim Kalinosky said that from the beginning, his wife had been accepting and open about his Catholic faith.
“I prayed,” he said. “I thought it would be nice someday, God-willing, if it’s his will.”
Jim offered his wife knowledge about the faith, but never pushed her to conversion. He recommends the same to spouses in similar situations.
“Be patient: it’s not up to us, it’s all in God’s time,” he said. “His will does not always coincide with ours, and you can’t rush these things.”
Kalinosky said she is sure there are plenty of spouses who, like her, come along each week but may not know how or be ready to take that next step. Personal invitations and connections, she believes, are key, just as she found while working on the evangelization committee. She tries to emulate the welcoming spirit she has received through the years at St. Stephen.
“Nobody pushed me to do anything more than I was ready for,” she said. “When I finally made the decision, everybody was arms open wide.”
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