EMMITSBURG – In addressing more than 200 people at the St. Dymphna Mental Wellness Retreat at the National Shrine of St. Elizabeth Ann Seton in Emmitsburg May 15, Deacon Ed Shoener pointed out that St. Elizabeth Ann Seton faced her own challenges dealing with the inevitable stresses of life.
That included the death of her mother when she was a child, the death of her husband and her children’s struggles with alcoholism and addiction.
“I find Mother Seton very relatable,” said Deacon Shoener, president of the Association of Catholic Mental Health Ministries. “She was a real human being. She knew what it was to suffer and struggle and the importance of finding hope. Elizabeth Ann Seton had significant anxieties.”
Deacon Shoener’s daughter, Katie (Kathleen), was also a real person, he said, whose battle with bipolar disease ended when she took her own life in 2016. The obituary he wrote for her made them both “celebrities,” he said, as it went viral for its message of not calling people by their disease.
The mental wellness retreat was the second phase of Archbishop William E. Lori’s mission to address mental health needs in the Archdiocese of Baltimore.
The first phase involved training nearly 1,000 people in mental health first aid in 2022.
During the retreat, participants could choose from several breakout sessions with topics including supporting those with mental illness and how to start a parish mental health ministry.
“Issues of mental health affect all of us,” said Auxiliary Bishop Bruce A. Lewandowski, C.Ss.R., in his homily during a Mass at the event. “You are not alone. Jesus is a friend to any and all people.”
Jesus worries about the health and well-being of everyone, the bishop said, and he is concerned about all that people go through in a “fast-paced, very stressful world.” It is important, Bishop Lewandowski said, to go out into the world and let people know that even in the “deepest, darkest places” of their being, God loves them and they aren’t alone.
Many gathered for Deacon Shoener’s session on how to start a mental health ministry in their parish. He recommended a team of at least three people working together to present a plan to the pastor and then to the congregation. The team should also learn about mental health resources in the community and educate parishioners about mental health by hosting speakers and discussions, he said.
Deacon Shoener also emphasized it was important to “know boundaries” and not advise on medications or treatments.
“You are not a therapist or a counselor,” he said. “You can love people, pray with them, offer support systems. There are a whole lot of things you can do. It’s not complicated.”
Megan Malkus has struggled with generalized anxiety since her teenage years and knows others who are suffering. A parishioner at St. John the Evangelist in Hydes, she had never thought to turn to the church community for help, though she would like to be able to now.
“Our community tends to be a little older and the mindset is different,” Malkus said. “Breaking through to people isn’t super easy. I want to work for this. It is a step in the right direction.”
Malkus’ fellow parishioner, Martha Schumacher, attended the retreat to help others. A member of her family has anxiety, she said and many of her children’s friends “have issues.”
When her sister-in-law died by suicide, Schumacher’s mother asked what she would tell people.
“I said I would tell the truth,” Schumacher said. “It might help somebody else.”
Glenn Shultz, a parishioner of St. Mary in Hagerstown, was there because one of his relatives has mental health issues. The retreat, he said, was a positive way “to get the door open.”
“This is a great starting point,” Shultz said. “Healthy mental health helps with spiritual and physical health in the long run. All three are connected.”
In his closing remarks, Deacon Shoener encouraged everyone to “shine a light in the darkness.”
“People need to know they can rely on their parish community,” he said. “They need to know the parish community won’t abandon them. Those with mental illness, they are courageous people. They deserve our respect. They carry a cross so heavy. They do not want our pity. They want what all people want, to be loved and respected.”
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