• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
        • Sports News
        • Official Clergy Assignments
        • Schools News
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Question Corner
          • George Weigel
          • Elizabeth Scalia
          • Michael R. Heinlein
          • Effie Caldarola
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Mark Viviano
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie & Television Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
        • Recipes
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • CR Media platforms
        • Electronic Edition
  • Advertising
  • Shop
        • Purchase Photos
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • Magazine Subscriptions
        • Archdiocesan Directory
  • CR Radio
        • CR Radio
        • Protagonistas de Fe
  • News Tips
  • Subscribe
Artwork depicting the Divine Mercy is pictured at St. Anthony's Church in North Beach, Md., July 15, 2021. (CNS photo/Bob Roller)

Have mercy

October 18, 2022
By Rita Buettner
Catholic Review
Filed Under: Commentary, Feature, The Domestic Church

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

When I was growing up, going to the dentist was a family event. Our family of eight would climb into the car, and we would drive to Dundalk to see Dr. Towson. His waiting room always seemed full of magazines and sunshine.

He would look at my teeth and praise me for “the good tartar” protecting my teeth. I always left his office feeling that going to the dentist was fun. At some point, though, he retired.

It was then that I realized not every dentist likes tartar, and they often criticize you for not flossing enough. I moved from practice to practice until I finally found a kind dentist who didn’t make me feel bad about my teeth. Eventually that dentist retired, too, and he turned the practice over to my current dentist, who is not only a great, supportive dentist but also extremely creative. The last time I went for an appointment, he cleaned my teeth himself and then pulled out a guitar and played a couple songs. He has done the same for my husband. He is quite talented – and I enjoy going.

When the time came for us to start our children with orthodontia, we picked an orthodontist who is straightforward and knowledgeable. We spend a fair amount of time at the orthodontist’s office, and it’s usually a pleasant enough experience. But the other day I took one of our boys to the orthodontist to fix a broken bracket, and the young woman working on his mouth started scolding him.

“You keep breaking things,” she said in frustration. “You need to be more careful. If you keep doing this, you’ll have to have your braces on even longer.”

Her tone upset me. It’s hard enough to be a child in middle school with all the pressures and self-confidence issues. Then you add orthodontia. My children will have these braces for seemingly forever. They can’t eat any of the candy they want, and they have to use rubber bands and brush their teeth with extra care. It’s an enormous chore for everyone involved. A little empathy and understanding can go a long way.

“That bracket broke while he was eating bread!” I said. “I need him to eat well, and he was just having breakfast.”

The conversation went downhill, and I could tell I needed to let it go. So, I retreated to a bench, and I let her do her work fixing it. A minute later, though, I overheard the woman sitting in the next chair telling the employee helping her that her bracket had broken, too.

“Oh, that’s too bad,” she said breezily. “It’s frustrating when that happens, but it’s an easy fix.” Then she fixed it.

There, I thought. That wasn’t that hard. Why do we so often assume that children aren’t trying? Why can’t we show a little more empathy? If the person working with my son had acknowledged what a pain orthodontia is, she could have helped him feel invested in the process.

I started thinking about what inspires me to do better. If I were to confess sins and the priest scolded me, I would walk out feeling terrible about myself. I would not be inspired to live differently. But when the priest – with Jesus working through him – offers forgiveness and grace, I leave with tears in my eyes and a longing to make better choices the next time.

“Confession is an act of honesty and courage – an act of entrusting ourselves, beyond sin, to the mercy of a loving and forgiving God,” St. John Paul II said. 

Mercy goes a long way. Criticism gets us nowhere. I just hoped my son wouldn’t feel discouraged.

As I sat steaming in the car on the way home, I asked him how he felt about what the woman had said to him.

“Well,” he said matter-of-factly, “it was a pretty tough piece of bread.”

Fair enough. Maybe I need to give a little mercy myself.

Read More Commentary

Images of Mary: Can we find the Blessed Mother in the Old Testament?

How public opinion can influence migration policies

Reckoning with empire: A Catholic critique of American foreign policy in a nuclear age

Wide shot of a sunrise on the beach, with a figure standing toward the left watching the light come into the sky

We’re at the beach. Let’s go see the sunrise

The ‘both/and’ pope

Can AI help the church evangelize?

Copyright © 2022 Catholic Review Media

Print Print

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

Primary Sidebar

Rita Buettner

View all posts from this author

| Recent Commentary |

Images of Mary: Can we find the Blessed Mother in the Old Testament?

How public opinion can influence migration policies

Reckoning with empire: A Catholic critique of American foreign policy in a nuclear age

Wide shot of a sunrise on the beach, with a figure standing toward the left watching the light come into the sky

We’re at the beach. Let’s go see the sunrise

The ‘both/and’ pope

| Recent Local News |

Gun buyback exceeds expectations, previous totals

Radio Interview: The situation in Gaza with Catholic Near East Welfare Association

Patrick Brice sentenced to home detention for attacks on elderly pro-life supporters

Notre Dame of Maryland University joins with Milwaukee college to address teacher shortage

Sister Agnese Neumann dies at 95

| Catholic Review Radio |

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Real Life. Real Faith. 

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • For Gazans, the deep silence of hunger has replaced noise of daily life
  • Hope is knowing God is always ready to forgive, pope says at audience
  • Images of Mary: Can we find the Blessed Mother in the Old Testament?
  • Report: Christian church attacks down, but recent totals still higher than 2018-2022
  • How public opinion can influence migration policies
  • Home viewing roundup: What’s available to stream and what’s on horizon
  • Petition filed at Supreme Court seeks overturn of landmark same-sex marriage ruling
  • Head of Spanish political party criticizes Catholic Church’s defense of Muslim community
  • At 80th anniversary Mass in Nagasaki, people urged to bring Christ’s love, peace to world

Search

Membership

Catholic Media Assocation

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2025 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

en Englishes Spanish
en en