Keep the faith, parents

I love our Catholic faith. I love the Eucharist and the many gifts of the Church. I love being part of the Church that Jesus started thousands of years ago when he asked Peter to build his church on earth.

I love the sense of history and tradition, and knowing that we are part of something much bigger than ourselves. I love what the Church offers and delivers to so many. I love the sacraments and the communion of saints. I love being part of a ministry of love and care and compassion—active compassion that serves and saves lives.

I love that we are the Church—that we the people of the Church, the Body of Christ, are building and strengthening our church for Jesus, doing his work, and living out his mission on earth.

I love it all, and I continue to offer all of this and more to my children. I hope and wish that it will give them the beautiful foundation, grounding, and happiness that it gives me. But, especially as they get older, I recognize that they might not grow up to be Catholic. I’m not sure previous generations of parents believed their children might not stay in the Church, but I know the numbers. Like most Catholics, I have other loved ones who have left the Church. I recognize that if that is the direction our children choose, I will need to have some sense of peace with that decision.

That is part of being a parent—offering, inviting, hoping, and loving, and recognizing that your child might take a different path.

The other day I read a piece on how to raise your children to be faithful Catholics—a piece that could, I might argue, have contained more humility, love, and a greater understanding of why people leave the Church. As a starting point, I think it’s important to name the grief and loss that Catholics feel to see family members move away from the faith. Also, we know that there is no sure-fire recipe for helping someone on their faith journey. That is not how faith works. It’s not how parenting works.

I also think it’s important for us to recognize that there are other forces—many of them positive and wonderful—in our children’s lives. These are our children. They are also God’s children. He loves them with a depth and breadth of love that is greater than even the love that makes our hearts burst with pride and joy. If our children choose another path, I hope to hold onto the faith that God will continue to call to them, beckoning them closer to him, all through their lives. We do our part, knowing we are not alone.

And, so I think that the most important thing I can do for my children on their faith journeys, regardless of where those take them, is love them—and pray. I can love them completely and fully and with joy, knowing that they are beautifully created by God, exquisitely loved by God, and that he will help them find their purpose and their path.

Our children might follow a more traditional path as practicing Catholics. Or they might take alternate journeys or circuitous paths on their faith journeys, as so many saints have.

What I hope and pray is that they always walk with God—and know he walks with them. What I hope and pray is that they are open to how he will be at work in their lives. What I hope and pray is that they never close the door on the beautiful friendship and love God offers—or that if they do, they find their way back to the light and love and peace that only God can give.

Watching your children find their way is part of parenting—and it has never been easy. Letting them be the people God created them to be is one of the greatest gifts of parenting. And recognizing that your dream for them might not be the dream they choose is not easy. But we place our trust in God, we love our children unconditionally, and we recognize that we cannot see the full picture—or how the story ends.

As we celebrate the feast of St. Monica this week, we have the chance to remember—and reach out to—a saint who knows a parent’s concerns and hopes. She knows the love of a child who strays from faith and then comes back home. She knows the importance of loving and praying and living with trust and hope.

Her son, St. Augustine, not only found his way to Christ, but has also led numerous others home to him as well. His life may even have brought his mother closer to God, just as our children’s faith lives can and do nurture our own. So, we step forward in faith and continue to pray for our children as they grow.

St. Monica, pray for us!

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