Marriage requires ‘personal encounter with Christ,’ community and witness, says cardinal

Marriage, like every vocation, “can only arise from a personal encounter with Christ,” with the Church offering the “precious tools” of community and witness to foster that experience, said the head of the Vatican’s key office for marriage and family life.

Cardinal Kevin J. Farrell, prefect of the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life, shared his thoughts in a message sent to those gathered for the fourth North American Marriage Catechumenate Summit. Organized by the Catholic marriage apostolate Witness to Love, the summit took place March 16-18 in Grand Coteau, La., part of the Diocese of Lafayette, drawing some 90 bishops, priests and family ministry leaders.

The Catholic Church’s marriage catechumenate offers a path of formation first advanced by the 1980 Synod of Bishops on the Family and championed by St. John Paul II in his 1981 apostolic exhortation “Familiaris Consortio.” It was formalized in June 2022 with the dicastery’s release of pastoral guidelines for marriage preparation.

Cardinal Farrell’s message, dated March 16 and read to summit participants the same day, stressed the centrality of knowing Christ’s love in order to give oneself to a spouse.

Christ “calls young people to walk this path of self-giving, love, and openness to others: a path that captivates them and sets them on their way,” said Cardinal Farrell. “Such an encounter and the opportunity to hear Christ’s call are only possible where authentic experiences of faith are lived, through which God can reach people, speak to their hearts, and enlighten them with his light.”

Quoting Pope Leo XIV, the cardinal observed that faith itself “is primarily a response to God’s love.”

Ultimately, that response is “not limited to intellectual knowledge,” but should “lead to experiencing the warmth and tenderness of Jesus’ loving gaze.”

“This is the most effective preparation for future married life, because only the discovery of Jesus’ loving gaze helps young people to have a positive outlook on life, on the future, and on human love itself, which draws strength and stability from the love of Christ,” explained the cardinal. “Those who have known the love of Christ also value human love!”

In contrast, he said, those unaware of Christ’s love “often harbor a reservation, a doubt in their hearts,” leading them to question the authenticity and permanence of human love.

“This is why many marriages fail,” said the cardinal. “Because the spouses have never had an experience of encountering Christ, neither before nor after marriage; they have never known the power of his love, which heals, which consoles, and which never fails.”

He said the Church has “two precious tools” that help to transmit faith in God’s love to others — “the community of believers and the power of witness.”

Cardinal Farrell said, “It is important to rediscover the ‘we’ of faith.”

The community of believers, even if appearing at times “fragmented or weakened,” can always be restored as “a welcoming place where faith can grow, because it is shared among couples and families.”

“Together, we can help one another live a Christian way of life amid the challenges of daily life,” said Cardinal Farrell. “Couples need to be accompanied by other married couples, other families, and the entire community.”

Witnesses to the faith, especially those who are married, “make Christ’s love visible and attractive,” he said.

“Their lives become a credible and contagious proclamation” of God’s love, said the cardinal.

Proclaiming the faith, accompanying those seeking and living out marriage, and the witness of family life are, Cardinal Farrell said, “the first steps that can help us create together a favorable environment for the marriage catechumenate.”

A native of Ireland, Cardinal Farrell was a priest and later auxiliary bishop of the Archdiocese of Washington and served as the bishop of Dallas from 2007 to 2016, when he was appointed to serve in his current role with the Dicastery for Laity, Family and Life. He holds several additional roles in the Roman Curia, including camerlengo of the Holy Roman Church, which administers the property and revenue of the Holy See.

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