We belong to each other

Way back when one of my summer jobs was as a cashier, I would scan all the items, bag them, and hand the bag to the customer. Then I would say, “Have a nice day!”

It sounded so hollow and trite. “Have a nice day!” But I didn’t know what else to say. One day I complained to my older sister that the phrase sounded so empty. I said those words, but did I care whether the person had a nice day? Not particularly.

“But you should care,” she said. She didn’t say it in a bossy, older sister way. She said it more as someone who was surprised to think I might not care whether someone I didn’t know had a good day.

That made me stop and think. What if I actually cared whether each of these strangers had a nice day? What if I greeted them with genuine kindness? What if I wanted the best for them, and sent them on their way with a wish that the road ahead would be pleasant and smooth?

As I kept cashiering, my sister’s words stayed in the background and rose to the surface from time to time. They made me think more about the meaning of the words that I say and the opportunity within those simple little exchanges. And I still think of them when I’m having a little trouble caring about someone I would rather just greet and send on their way.

The truth is that we should wish the best for people, even people we don’t know. We are born with hearts that are designed to love. We are created to be members of families and communities. We are intended to be neighbors—and not just to the people we know and love, but to everyone, to people who make us feel uncomfortable, to people who are very different from us, and to people who aren’t even kind to us.

I have been thinking of that lately, especially since hearing Jesuit Father Greg Boyle speak last week at a Leadership Howard County event. I’ve heard Fr. Boyle speak before, and I’ve read his books—and I am in awe of his life’s work. He understands love and compassion and how we belong to one another in a truly remarkable way.

Fr. Boyle’s work with gang members in Los Angeles saves lives and builds bridges and relationships among people who have been enemies. Through the gang intervention and rehabilitation organization he founded, Homeboy Industries, he gives individuals the opportunity to start a new life with different purpose—and hope. The stories he shares are full of both sadness and humor, and I have never made it through one of his books or speeches without tears.

For one thing, I realize just how fortunate I am to have never questioned whether I was loved by my family. Some of the stories of abuse and neglect are heartbreaking. And it makes me realize that many people do not experience familial love—and what a cross that is for them throughout their lives. No wonder Fr. Boyle speaks of the need for healing.

At the luncheon, he told the audience, “You go from here to do something very specific and that is to create a community of cherished belonging.”

A community of cherished belonging. What a beautiful aspiration. I’m not sure what God is specifically asking of us in the work he wants each of us to do on earth. But as we move closer to Pentecost, I’m confident that God continues to hope that we will work intentionally to create community. I imagine he wants us to welcome people in and help them to be seen. He doesn’t want anyone left outside or on the margins.

And I know God wants us to feel cherished ourselves.

I hope you feel loved—and that you have a wonderful day experiencing God’s love in the people you encounter.

Copyright © 2024 Catholic Review Media

 Print