Remembering our Valentine’s Day proposal

I knew he had the ring.

I knew he was going to propose that night.

I was so excited for our Valentine’s Day dinner together. We dressed up and headed out to the restaurant where John had made a reservation for us. Valentine’s Day was a Saturday that year, so we weren’t surprised that the restaurant was packed. What was more surprising was that we waited and waited and waited, without any sign that we would be seated.

Finally, we gave up and left.

As we drove around considering our options, I imagined our marriage proposal happening in a fast-food drive-through. At least it would be memorable.

We were driving through Catonsville when we spotted The Candle Light Inn. It seemed unlikely that such a fancy restaurant could seat us for Valentine’s Day dinner without a reservation. Still, we went inside, and they found a table for us next to a window.

We enjoyed a decadent meal. And somewhere between dinner and dessert, John told me how much he loved me and asked me to marry him. I don’t remember exactly what he said, but I recall how he looked into my eyes. And I remember saying yes knowing this was the beginning of something truly wonderful.

Then we ate a gorgeous chocolate dessert and asked our server to take our picture—confessing that we were newly engaged. She was happy to help.

That was 20 years ago this Valentine’s Day. Twenty years seems like a blink of an eye—and also like a long time. Somehow it seems even longer because the restaurant has been converted to a funeral home. We drive past it from time to time and recall our special engagement dinner.

This year Valentine’s Day is Ash Wednesday. People talk about the challenge that is to mark both—and it is. Still, even when Valentine’s Day is not a day of fasting and abstinence, John and I tend not to go out to eat that night. We learned our lesson 20 years ago. We usually pick a different night—one where not everyone else is out celebrating their love. That works well for us. We do many things well as a couple, but we do not excel at waiting for tables.

Still, I love that Valentine’s Day and Ash Wednesday are the same day. What a beautiful reminder that love is not all sunshine and smiles.

Love can be hard. Love can be painful. Love can mean sacrifice. A heart symbolizes love, but so does a cross. A hug shows love, but so do Jesus’ arms outstretched as he died for each of us. That is an extraordinary love, a divine love, a love that is a gift that changed the world.

This Valentine’s Day, we will probably get ashes at different Masses. Dinner will be something quick, and we might not even eat together. But the love is real. And we will celebrate on our own schedule. I will be grateful that I said yes to my husband when he presented me with a beautiful Claddagh ring that day 20 years ago.

Then, we will say yes to whatever the Lenten journey ahead holds. Because Jesus is ready to show us his love in a new way—if we just open ourselves to what he has in store for us. May you experience his love for you during this Lenten season.

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