• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
        • Sports News
        • Official Clergy Assignments
        • Schools News
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Question Corner
          • George Weigel
          • Elizabeth Scalia
          • Michael R. Heinlein
          • Effie Caldarola
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Mark Viviano
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie & Television Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
        • Recipes
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • CR Media platforms
        • Electronic Edition
  • Advertising
  • Shop
        • Purchase Photos
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • Magazine Subscriptions
        • Archdiocesan Directory
  • CR Radio
        • CR Radio
        • Protagonistas de Fe
  • News Tips
  • Subscribe

A small and simple gesture of sympathy

February 25, 2018
By Rita Buettner
Filed Under: Blog, Open Window

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

I’m baking cookies.I don’t usually bake during Lent. So my husband and my sons want to know why I’m baking.

They’re not for us, I tell them. They’re for a friend who lost her grandmother last week. I know she likes pumpkin cookies. So I’m making cookies.

That seems to make sense to them, and they leave me in the kitchen to finish my work.

The truth is that I don’t need to bake cookies.

I’ve told her how sorry I am. I’ve given her a card. I’ve written to a priest friend to ask him to say a Mass—and I know he will.

But her family has been on my mind. And I know how much it means to be wrapped in love and comfort and prayer when you lose someone you love.

A batch of cookies. There’s nothing extraordinary about it. But sometimes when you feel you can do nothing, you look for one small thing you can do.

And, of course, there are many things you can do when someone you care about loses someone so loved.

You can send a note.

You can have a Mass celebrated for the repose of the soul of the person who has died—or for the loved ones left behind.

You can go to the viewing or the funeral—or both.

You can send flowers or food.

You can forget to do anything at all and remember months later.

In my experience, you can’t do too much, but you can definitely do too little.

Even as I bake, I find myself thinking of other friends who still need a note or a Mass card from me. I’ll have to remember to carve out time to take care of those, too.

“Funerals mandatory; weddings optional,” a friend told me recently—and that rang true for me. I don’t know much about etiquette. I just know how much every gesture matters.

I know I can’t stop the grieving. There’s so much I cannot do. But I can bake cookies. So tonight, that’s what I’m doing.

Print Print

Share
Share on Facebook
Share
Share this
Pin
Pin this
Share
Share on LinkedIn

Primary Sidebar

Rita Buettner

View all posts from this author

| Recent Commentary |

Our faith is not afraid of questions

Artificial Intelligence, wholeism and prayer

Question Corner: Does reception of the Eucharist replace confession?

A butterfly lands on a flowering bush with purple blossoms

A Miracle for a Baby in Rhode Island (and for all of us)

Kids need lots of people who love them

| Recent Local News |

Archdiocese of Baltimore offers resources for parishes to assist migrants

Third annual gun buyback scheduled for Aug. 9

Driver arrested after crashing into entrance of Esperanza Center

Construction underway on new north addition to St. Joseph’s Nursing Home 

Prince of Peace merges with St. Francis de Sales in Harford County

| Catholic Review Radio |

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Real Life. Real Faith. 

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • Jubilee of Youth chance to celebrate hope, fraternity in world at war, panel says
  • New York archdiocese sees hundreds of responses to ‘Called By Name’ program
  • Can’t afford a Catholic college? Think again. Many offer full tuition options
  • Detroit archbishop fires theologians Ralph Martin, Eduardo Echeverría from seminary
  • LA archbishop, joined by business leaders, starts fund to help families affected by ICE raids
  • FBI surveilled SSPX priest amid probe of suspected neo-Nazi’s plans for violence
  • Poland’s ‘living memorial’ to St. John Paul II marks 25 years of transforming lives
  • Our faith is not afraid of questions
  • Catholic ‘American Ninja Warrior’ fights world hunger, one obstacle at a time

Search

Membership

Catholic Media Assocation

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2025 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED

en Englishes Spanish
en en