• Skip to main content
  • Skip to secondary menu
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
Catholic Review

Catholic Review

Inspiring the Archdiocese of Baltimore

Menu
  • Home
  • News
        • Local News
        • World News
        • Vatican News
        • Obituaries
        • Featured Video
        • En Español
        • Sports News
        • Official Clergy Assignments
        • Schools News
  • Commentary
        • Contributors
          • Question Corner
          • George Weigel
          • Effie Caldarola
          • John Garvey
          • Father Ed Dougherty, M.M.
          • Guest Commentary
        • CR Columnists
          • Archbishop William E. Lori
          • Rita Buettner
          • Christopher Gunty
          • George Matysek Jr.
          • Father Joseph Breighner
          • Father Collin Poston
          • Robyn Barberry
          • Hanael Bianchi
          • Amen Columns
  • Entertainment
        • Events
        • Movie & Television Reviews
        • Arts & Culture
        • Books
        • Recipes
  • About Us
        • Contact Us
        • Our History
        • Meet Our Staff
        • Photos to own
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
        • CR Media platforms
        • Electronic Edition
  • Advertising
  • Shop
        • Purchase Photos
        • Books/CDs/Prayer Cards
  • CR Radio
  • News Tips
  • Subscribe
Former first lady Barbara Bush, the wife of one U.S. president and the mother of another, died April 17 at age 92 at her home in Houston. She is pictured in a 2002 photo. (CNS photo/Andy Clark, Reuters)

The need for apologies

May 15, 2018
By Effie Caldarola
Filed Under: Commentary, For the Journey

 

When former first lady Barbara Bush died recently, memories of her good qualities abounded.

In a culture where females are pressured to think a face-lift is just a matter of time and slimness is non-negotiable, she was an attractive natural with a matronly figure and soft white hair.

A champion of literacy and a woman devoted to family, she was also known as being “ferociously tart-tongued” according to her daughter-in-law, first lady Laura Bush. That’s not always a bad thing, but it didn’t serve her well in 1984.

That year, Geraldine Ferraro was the Democrats’ candidate for vice president, the first woman ever nominated to a major party ticket, running with presidential hopeful Walter Mondale. They were up against President Ronald Reagan and his vice president, Barbara’s husband George H.W. Bush.

In a highly publicized remark, Mrs. Bush referred to Ferraro as “that 4 million dollar … I can’t say it, but it rhymes with rich.”

The requisite canned apologies were quickly rendered and accepted, but the remark lingered in my idealistic young mind as catty and beneath the dignity of a presidential race.

Of course, decades later, when we’ve become accustomed to degrading name-calling at the highest level, Mrs. Bush’s comment seems tame indeed. Nevertheless, it lingered.

However, in an article after her death, I read her 1988 reflections on that comment, and it changed my perspective entirely.

“It was dumb of me. I shouldn’t have said it,” Mrs. Bush acknowledged. “It was not attractive, and I’ve been very shamed. I apologized to Mrs. Ferraro, and I would apologize again.”

Now, that’s genuine. Can you imagine a public figure today using the words “dumb” or “shame” to describe a mistake they had made?

Today’s apologies, if ever rendered, usually start with “I’m sorry if someone was offended …” as if the real fault lies with those of us who took offense, oversensitive souls that we are.

That’s, of course, assuming there is an apology.

The name-calling that marked the 2016 presidential race has never provoked any apologies, nor do many remarks that stain social media and public discourse nearly daily. The bar for civility has been plummeting from the top down, and it’s trickling into everything from the comments section of social media to the comedy performed at the White House Correspondents’ Association dinner.

Pope Francis recently provided a beautiful example of apology. When he visited Chile in January, he made some unfortunate remarks about victims of sexual abuse there, saying they were guilty of “calumny” for continuing to call out a bishop they feel complicit in an abuse case.

There was a huge uproar over the pope’s remarks. Instead of digging in, retrenching and defending his comments, Pope Francis took criticism to heart, investigated further, and, according to Catholic News Service, “apologized for underestimating the seriousness of the crisis in Chile.”

He asked for forgiveness and began to meet personally with those who had suffered from his remarks. It’s almost unheard of to find such genuine public acknowledgement of error.

Perhaps because we live in such a litigious society, nobody wants to admit, “I did it.” But I think it goes deeper than that.

The sacrament of reconciliation is neglected these days. Could one reason be a growing cultural disinclination to face the fact that we sometimes do and say shameful things? We make it complicated, giving ourselves excuses. We say “I’m sorry but …” here’s why it’s really your fault.

It takes a humble, truthful and thoughtful person to acknowledge error publicly. It’s both a gift to us, and an example we should follow.

 

Copyright ©2018 Catholic News Service/U.S. Conference of Catholic Bishops.

Print Print

Primary Sidebar

Effie Caldarola

Effie Caldarola writes for the Catholic News Service column "For the Journey."

View all posts from this author

| Recent Commentary |

Question Corner: Jesus became man so I could become God?

The mental health crisis crosses all boundaries and ages

Hold the tuna casserole; pass the crab cake this Lent

Question Corner: Do we relax our Lenten fasts on Sunday?

Pope Francis: 10 titles for 10 years

| Recent Local News |

Sister Joan Cooper, O.S.F., dies at 94

Pathfinders: Five Archdiocese of Baltimore women who made history

Sister Elizabeth Ellen Kane, O.S.F., dies at 81

RADIO INTERVIEW: Dining with the Saints

Archdiocese dispenses with meatless obligation for St. Patrick’s Day

| Catholic Review Radio |

CatholicReview · Catholic Review Radio

Footer

Our Vision

Real Life. Real Faith. 

Catholic Review Media communicates the Gospel and its impact on people’s lives in the Archdiocese of Baltimore and beyond.

Our Mission

Catholic Review Media provides intergenerational communications that inform, teach, inspire and engage Catholics and all of good will in the mission of Christ through diverse forms of media.

Contact

Catholic Review
320 Cathedral Street
Baltimore, MD 21201
443-524-3150
mail@CatholicReview.org

 

Social Media

  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Twitter
  • YouTube

Recent

  • Federal judge’s pending ruling could block abortion drug from nationwide sale
  • Papa Francisco: Sin la fuerza del Espíritu Santo, la evangelización es publicidad vacía
  • New Orleans Auxiliary Bishop Cheri dies at 71; archbishop thanks God ‘for his life, ministry’
  • Confession, indulgences express and strengthen communion, speakers say
  • Pro-life groups seek commitments on federal abortion limits from 2024 GOP contenders
  • Pope: Without power of Holy Spirit, evangelization is empty advertising
  • West Virginia parishes, people help Ukrainians find safe haven in Mountain State
  • Rosary project supplies ‘long-range, heart-changing weapons’ to Ukraine
  • Bishop calls ‘reproductive justice’ lecture series with abortion doula ‘scandal,’ ‘unworthy’ of Notre Dame university

Search

Membership

Catholic Press Association of the United States and Canada

Maryland-Delaware-DC Press Association

The Associated Church Press

© 2023 CATHOLIC REVIEW MEDIA, ALL RIGHTS RESERVED