World will be a better place if we dispense with the discouraging word

Most everyone knows the first verse of the old Western folk song, “Home on the Range.” Of interest is the last line which says, “where seldom is heard a discouraging word and the skies are not cloudy all day.” 

I don’t know about you, but there’s many a day I’d like to be “home on the range” so as to escape the proliferation of discouraging words that besets us.

Let me be clear: I am all for creative writing and speaking and would not for a minute disparage the use of colorful language. But much that is written and communicated these days is anything but creative and colorful. Instead, it tends toward tiresome invective. So too, part of life is complaining and everyone has a right to express opinions. Nonetheless, these days few complaints are complete without an expression of extreme annoyance, indignation and outrage, and without assigning evil motives. A parent, dismayed that the masking requirement for church attendance had been lifted wrote, “Why do you want to kill my children?” That’s hardly a responsible use of language. Worse still, such words betoken a perpetual state of anger.

The discouraging word seems to flourish on social media. Rough discourse on social media involves people of all ages but it especially affects the young. Many young people experience tremendous anxiety over the number of “likes” and comments their posts generate. Some of the “dislikes” are devastating. Vile and spiteful comments corrode the recipient’s self-worth and dignity. Bullied on social media, some young people have harmed themselves and some have died by suicide. Words can be more than discouraging. They can be deadly.

Politics, as we know, has always been something of a blood sport. Invective aimed at political opponents is nothing new. Yet, as time goes by, there is less and less substance in political discourse. Responsible and informative discussions of the issues have given way to name-calling and ideological rants. The aim of much public speech is to imprison one’s opponent in an ideological box from which there is no escape. Is it any wonder our country is divided? I find it interesting to watch video clips of political discussions from 50 or 60 years ago. Back then there were plenty of disagreements, but the tone and content from all sides of the spectrum were much more civil and substantive than today.

Add to that the many websites and other platforms, on both the right and the left, that make outrageous claims and unjustly tarnish the reputations of those with whom they disagree. Those who manage such websites are just waiting for their victims to respond so that a vicious cycle of defamatory vitriol can begin all over again.

While we are at it, let’s not overlook how easy it is for any one of us to speak uncharitably and cynically about others, and occasionally, to others. We can also use our powers of speech and communication to lead others into sin and nothing is more discouraging than sin. 

Yes, the discouraging word abounds!

What might we do about all this? I do not have a prescription for reforming social media, for making emails more polite, or for improving political discourse. But all of us can do something, and here is my suggestion. 

Lent is a time of penance. We often think of what we might “give up” in Lent. Prayer, fasting and almsgiving are the staples of our Lenten observance. Why not give up the discouraging word for Lent? 

Through the lens of prayer, we discern how our use of language may hurt others and tear down morale. Fasting disciplines us to shed our vices, including hurling invective at others and judging them harshly. Almsgiving takes us beyond self-centered concerns, which are often the reason why we engage in harsh and unbecoming speech. With our eyes fixed on God’s goodness and the needs of others, we become merciful in thought, word and deed.  

Just to spur us on with this good resolution, let us recall Jesus’ words about anger: The Mosaic law forbids killing, but Jesus also teaches that being angry with one’s neighbor is a form of murder. St. Paul admonishes us “not to let the sun set on our anger” nor to let “foul language come from (our) mouths.” Instead, we are to say good things, design to edify those around us (cf. Eph 4:26, 29). So too he instructs us to “encourage one another and to build one another up” (1 Thes 5:11).

If we have done with the discouraging word, then at Easter the Word of Life will be in our hearts and on our lips. And the world will be a better place.

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